I just found out from my H's best friend that he has cut off all contact with the OW on Thursday (7th) and is NOW FINALLY feeling guilty! I am excited and have wanted this so badly over the last 2 weeks! Now what?????

do not be to eager be very careful. take it slow

I'm glad to hear that Tam, hopefully things will work out. Keep us updated - I'm struggling right now with finding a way to drop the bomb on the WS that I won't be spending this week with her...

I dont want to get my hopes up, but he's acting the way he used to. I am happy but scared. I dont know what to do or say??????
Fox,
Why arent you spending time with her?

because she refers to it as "tagging along". She doesn't even seem to want me around - I'm sick of feeding her cake.

Then I agree with you Fox. She should WANT to spend time with you and not make it sound like its a hassle.

how have you been? did you get my e-mail?

Yeah I did get it. I didnt know what to do? I guess it just threw me off? I have been good. I spent ALOT of time with my son and thinking about everything. Also I had a babysitter last night so I got to take a bath and chill out for 2 hours ALONE!!!!! I needed that so bad.

That sounds awesome! I can't wait to have kids - although things with my W have sorta thrown a kink in that plan. In due time I'll be a daddy though; I'm excited!

You're such a good man. Usually guys arent that excited to be dads. Its good to see there are decent people around! And it sounds like you WILL be a good dad!!

Yeah - I've always wanted to be a dad; especially after NOT being raised by a good dad; I've always wanted to give my children the best daddy possible; one who's goofy, fun, and just the kind of guy people like to be around. My W and I had planned on kids from the get-go, but when things got rough between us, she wanted to have children - I think as a means of trying to solve our problems, which I didn't feel comfortable doing. I wanted to solve our problems before bringing children into our lives; however, I was to weak to stand up and tell her no - so I ended up saying I would have kids with her; but when the time came, I backed down in hesitance, and it really hurt her feelings - ack, you live you learn I guess.

Figures - now I'm sure I want kids and she won't come back. Life is weak sometimes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

And although I know I'm a good man; I made some bad mistakes...wish the W wasn't so bitter about them. Its frustrating knowing that you've changed but not being able to do anything more. If she leaves, that's her loss though; she'll be missing out on a great husband who has learned from his mistakes and is wanting to give her 1,000,000 fold what he gave her before they started fighting.

From my experience, its kind of good that you wanted to fix things first. Its just really, really hard having a kid and trying to deal with all the problems that I have in my life. I have to stay strong for my son, but as you know, its really hard at times. And thats not fair to him.

Yeah - but in the same respect, I find myself wondering - had we had a child; would my W have been more willing to see the change in me? Thats a question that stings.

I dont know??? Having a baby added to the mix sure complicates things. But I hope that everything works out for you. I wish your W would just see your changes so you can be happy. I wish she would put her walls down and see you now.

Yeah - unfortunately its something that takes time; although I don't even know if she's willing to take down her walls. Better find out soon because I leave for school in a month and a half.

All I know is that her decision is her decision - I know I've changed and I'm looking forward to making something of my life - looking forward to school starting up, only two years left and then I'm out into the 'real world', gunna get a nice job after I graduate with honors: i plan on finishing the next two years STRONG! Gunna go find a good job and a good woman to settle down with and have a family. With or without my W, its going to happen - no sense in being sad; she doesn't make me who I am; I am who I am - and I can be who I am without her in my life if necessary, although I'd obviously love to share it with her by my side; otherwise I would have never married her.

cancergirl,

Now you sit back and watch. He needs to make the move toward you, not the other way around. You have to see real action on his part that things have changed and that he isn't going to go back the other way before you welcome him back into your life.

If things move too quickly, he's apt to come home and then be upset that he's there. Don't make this mistake. Take it one step at a time. Protect your heart.

~ Snow

Thanks Snow.
Thats why I dont know what to do? I dont want to get hurt again but I just miss the physical touch (not sexual) and just being loved again. Its hard to stay away when he is being nice. But I do agree with you.
Fox,
I like your attitude!!! What are you going to school for?
Have you told your W your not spending time with her yet?

Broadcasting/Criminal Justice double BA...my school has the third best communications school in the nation.

No I haven't told her - I will probably tell her on the phone tomorrow morning; make it short and concise; just worried about sounding angry or bitter when I do it - because I don't want to sound that way.