THANKS FOX!!
GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

R U sure this is another OW and not the first one pretending t/b ow2? The reason why I ask is that in my case, the OW called me to 'inform' me H was cheating on her. LOL!!! I took the opportunity to ask her which one was she #5 or 15? LOL!!! Of course that blew her cover and she was furious that I wasn't all freaked out. LOL!! I told the WS that his 'lovely friend' was upset that he was 'cheating on her'. LOL!!! He was mad, she was mad and I was laughing hysterically. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

LOL Orchid! Yes, the OP can be quite crafty sometimes, ya know???

cancergirl, I commend you for having the strength to go to counseling yourself. You can learn how to communicate better and how to set your boundaries and stick to them. That alone might bring your husband around.

Is he always angry and mean? Is this his normal pattern of behavior or just more recent since he's been cheating? The reason I ask is that if it is the latter, an angry WS can mean the affair is still ongoing or it might be over, but he's unhappy that it's over and he's blaming you.

Have you been trying to Plan A around His Assiness? It's kinda hard for a grump to keep being nasty when you respond in a civil, mature manner. Kind of takes the wind out of their sails.

Talk also with your counselor about how your friends feel about WH, before the affair. I know you said they don't like being around him. I think that should be explored, especially if they didn't like him before all of this happened. That would be a good clue for the counselor to explore with you.

And by all means, if you are afraid for yourself and the baby, bring that up right off the bat!! A good counselor has seen it all and will have a good sense of whether you are in any real danger (whether you think so or not).

Hope this helps.

~ Snow

Snow:

Greetings. I am dying to know what you meant by "turning point" regarding the latest revelation about Cancer's cheating husband second affair being revealed (no doubt NOT only his second affair mind you).

Thanks in advance for your response.

Sour...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I don't want you to die, LM, so I'll try to explain myself. First of all, I understand being jaded and cautious and assuming this might not be JUST his second affair, but until there is proof of more, you go with what ya got. (And like Orchid pointed out, cancergirl has to make sure there really are TWO OW to begin with and not just one playing games!)

As for a "turning point," I mean a catalyst to honesty and, eventually recovery. In no way did I mean this second affair is a good thing, far from it. It will make recovery that much harder and given the short term of marriage that cancergirl has had, it does not bode well.

A gut-wrenching revelation during the discovery period, any revelation, can be the key that turns the machine on and sets it in motion. Looking back, discovering my husband's second affair was the "turning point" in our recovery. We were in the basement with nowhere to go but climb up together and decide whether we would stayed together or part ways. I knew the worst there was to know. There were no road blocks to being completely honest at this point. Nothing else mattered but getting to the truth so decisions based on truth could be made. And my husband knew "the jig was up."

Now, with the revelation of OW2 cancergirl and her husband are faced with the absolute necessity of radical honesty at this juncture. There's little point in his continuing his charade and he might realize that and come clean. Her finding out could be the "turning point" that brings the house of cards down, and puts her feet on a path to recovery.

Does that help?

~ Snow

*Has the paramedics on stand-by*

lol...this is O/T but everytime I see the title of this topic I laugh out loud.