LM
That was so sweet of you and made my day - thank you.
It's been along journey. Constantly looking within myself, changing myself...I call myself a work in progress <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I didn't want to accept the affair just happened. I wanted to know what within me allowed me to drop all morals that I had...as I had been one of those people who said "never me"
The last few months, I was so clouded by emotions due to Sprints want and need to exit the marriage, and his patterns that I recognized where he was headed, I came off as more of a bumbling idiot trying desperately to hang on to what was left of her marriage.
Sprint leaving for the time he did gave me alot of time to calm down and re orient my goals while not having to deal with the pain I was experiencing every day.
When he dropped his bomb, that I was right about the singles forums, the girl, and that he had ended up having a "fling" as he puts it, once he left, after 8 months of personal recovery I was in a place where I could see I could either make this marriage work or break it by my actions and reactions to this new hurt.
Now being a BS, I also know what it feels like to be a WS, and what the wrath of a BS can do to a already guilty feeling WS. IT doesn't help the marriage when it becomes damaging, although it may help the BS feel better. So I learned it is okay to tell Sprint how I am feeling, but to dwell or throw my hurt in his face doesn't productively help us. I know that by him just being here, he is feeling guilt and hurt of his own...and I won't add to that. I deal with the feelings as they come up - talk to same sex friends, but also let Sprint know that I am talking about it. I don't think he needs to know every little stupid thought that comes into my head, as it only hurts him too.
So I have learned how to deal with pain effectively, something I wish I had known before so I could deal with pain pre-A better, but wishes and should of's etc don't get me anywhere - what is done is done, the past is the past...and all I can do is work on today and tomorrow <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
And what's nice is Sprint is at this point too - working for today and tomorrow. We are daily growing stronger and have healthier respect for our marriage now. We are both pretty confident neither of us will ever make these same mistakes again.
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edited - now if only I can make typos part of my work in progress....fixed a few...but I don't type fast enough for my thoughts and end up with errors everyone - apologies LOL
