There was a discussion on another thread about folks being afraid to step out of their comfort zone.

So I put this out here---

we should consider a thread on doing one thing a week that takes people out of their comfort zone.

People can post one thing they would like to do and then account back to the group how it went, how it felt, and then everyone can cheer and encourage others on their path to self confidence.

So what one thing would you like to try that takes you out of your comfort zone that others here can support you in?

TR, what a fabulous idea!!!

Heights automatically take me out of my comfort zone. Hospitals as well. Inviting people I don't know well to do stuff, especially some of the other mothers from my girls' school.

Today I was invited over to a neighbor's house to sit and visit out on their deck overlooking a lake. In the past I wouldn't have done it. One guy was married and the other one was in his 30s. I remembered reading on here that even when a person is not appropriate and/or available, they sometimes know others who might be. Well, I went over and sat and talked. One of the guys mentioned that a new male neighbor might be moving in soon. I kind of jokingly asked "Oh really?! Is he eligible, not marriaged??" The guys both laughed. I went on to say that I was eligible and looking if they ever thought of someone who might be interested. They said they'd keep me in mind if they thought of anyone! They said they were surprised that I had any problems finding someone! Sure did my ego good!

NONE of this behavior and discussion was in my comfort zone. So.....kudos for me!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Heartmending

That is great!! it takes a lot of courage to get up the nerve and tell someone "Hey if you happen to know someone single"

And I'm glad the guys were able to boost your ego too.

I will stay with what I have said from the other thread.

Mine would be, eating alone, and at the bar would be way over the top!

Karona

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

WNB

Mine is as follows...

There is someone in my "contact area" that I would like to invite out for a coffee date once STBXW has departed for good. She is not M'ed, disdains drunks and seems like an interesting and funny lady. We'll see how it goes in 6 weeks or so.

My luck will be that she's already seeing someone! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Oh well...nothing ventured, nothing gained.

The prospects of doing this is rather terrifying, but the thought of NOT asking her is NOT acceptable...

I cannot and will not let opportunity pass...even if I have to "step out of my zone".

I am NOT looking fro a new Mrs. WNB...I am simply looking to enjoy dating and see where it takes me...

I can certainly SEE the impulse in me to look for the next MRS. WNB, but I am tamping that down daily...

WNB

WBN, at least you're tempted to look for the next Mrs. WBN. I'm afraid I'll always look at marraige as a way to make my life miserable. LOL.

Consider this: Coffee can be construed as "just friends." This works well if she is already dating someone but is intrigued by you. Then, if she likes you better, she tells hypothetical date, see ya later dude, and you're rolling.

Sorry, TR, that I didn't understand "comfort zone" applies to relationships. Heck, I'm paniced by my kids being invited for a playdate by a divorced dad. I'm invited too. Intellectually, I know it means nada. He's not interested. However, being with a man like for three hours and not being sure what the heck I'll talk about has me worried.

Marriage is a wonderful thing...I just have made two mistakes in pursuing what a REAL marriage is...
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I had a SMALL glimpse of it with STBXW, but knowing now that was all a lie AND she has made no attempts at working with me to repair our M, we are finished.

However, in my pre D-Day state, I was QUITE happy sharing my life with someone I loved, would take a bullet for and THOUGHT she would do the same for me.

WRT the "coffee" date, I have already thought of your "concern". In so many words I'll tell her that since we have known each other, I have found her very interesting and would like to begin getting to know her better...

Is that beating around the bush? I don't think it is, It's not like I am asking ehr to marry me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

WNB

Greengables,

It's not just about relationships, it could be ANY comfort zone that you can face and be willing to step out on a limb and try to face that fear.

And who knows, going to the hospital trying to over come your fear, you just might meet yourself a doctor....hmmm, maybe go eat alone in the hospital cafe...LOL

And as far as the play date goes, it doesn't have to be three hours, you could meet at the park for a set time, like an hour where you have plans for thirty minutes after the play date so that you aren't stuck for the three hours with someone your not comfortable around. And if you do hit it off then you can make plans to meet again when "you have more time".

You could even stay and visit for a while and then leave, and if things go well you can return early to pick your kids up and sit and visit for the remainder of time.

Lots of ways to work that out <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think this is a great idea. Perhaps we can keep it going. And if not on this thread, at least we're seeing encouragement for each other, in this direction, on other threads.

My *zone* right now is waiting and working on me. Pretty much ending a 2 and 1/2 year R recently (we're still friends), and not actively looking for anyone else to date at the moment. I've gotten more involved at church, and with the Singles group there.... some wonderful folks to hang out with. If someone interesting comes along to get my attention, that's OK. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> But I ain't lookin' right now! Turned that part over to God.

So, I'm not sure what I need to do right now to *step out*. I don't think I need to do anything. Like I said, waiting, and working on me. I'm also building other friendships, and filling my life that way.

Thanks....
Faith1

Faith, I am looking to re-start our singles group at church, let it die out as someone else wanted to run it and then run out on it! I'd like to get some idea from you on yours.

I post my email for you after you post back.

Thanks, Dawn

I'm thinking if I am brave enough to step out of my comfort zone(I've become such a homebody).

Hi Dawn <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Ah yes - the Singles group at church - ornery group that we are .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> hehe... I guess the group grows and fades... folks come and go... all for different reasons. Some get married, or get wrapped-up in their BF/GFs. Some are uncomfortable attending - for all kinds of reasons. Some are picky about the events (comfort-zone???). Some are single parents (or rotating schedules with the other parent), and have child-care concerns.

Something we are trying now is, in addition to our own activites, we are sharing calendars and joining activities with other churches - for retreats, dinners, outings, dances, etc. Makes for more variety and a larger group.

Here's my e-mail (after all, it's on the photo thread too) But I'll probably remove it from here soon. Lemme know when you got it.

OK... I said I was *waiting*... so maybe this is what I need help with. I was on vacation last week, and now that I'm back, I'm around Mr. Cutie again. The one that's "not interested", but sure seems to flirt a lot when we talk. How to keep from making an idiot of myself... and just be calm and friendly.... *sigh*

Watch Mr. Cutie's actions and not his words!

Or, you can be very bold and say "I know you said you weren't interested, so can you help me get back into the dating game? Can you be my "practice date"? Could I test out my flirting and dating skills on you, since you are obviously not interested."

Thanks newly. I might do that. That's a good way of putting it. Or... I might just wait and see what happens. I'm not sure right now.... I'm leaning towards wanting to cocoon myself and nurture myself right now.

I did it. I finally finished my eharmony profile. I'm impressed by the personality summary it gave for me. Not exactly right, and not complete, but pretty darn close. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Now... just gotta decide whether to join or not. It's not giving me a lot of matches right now. Maybe I'll watch to see if I get some good matches. Will it let me stay on there for free to keep matching?