I've told my story before and you can read it here. The gist of it is this, we've been together for 3 1/2 years and we got married last November. He had an affair with a co-worker/teammember who is having marital issues (currently in the process of her own D). He claims A is over, yet for all intents and purposes EA continues as they still talk regularly on the phone and work together. I've exposed, hasn't done any good except to blow up in my face.

So, here I am. We've gone to MC once together and he went 1 time solo. Prior to his solo appt he was considering moving back home to try and work things out. After solo appt he's decided to not move back home and that he's going to file for the divorce. When asked what changed he says councilor thinks a "clean break" is best when he's already "checked out of the marriage".

Obviously, I do not want a divorce, but I don't want to be on this roller coaster ride that he manipulates any more either. We dont' have kids so the divorce will most likely be a simple one and fairly straight-forward. We've already lived apart for 30 days so that requirement is met.

I guess I just wonder how any of you got the strength to just go through it. I still love him, but I don't like what he's been doing.

I'm having a hard time right now because of this, the fact that my finances are very tight, my birthday (the day he proposed) is on Sunday and my grandfather just died. Thanks, could life please just sh*t on me a little more please??

Oh, he also is in the process of buying a used car. Everything right now is in my name (both a blessing AND a curse). Since we are living at diff places, will I be responsible for that debt? He wants me to write a letter saying he still lives here! Should I? He says if I don't I'm being a total b*tch just doing it to be bitter. Right now he's driving our other car (again, it's in my name), but he just HAS to have this other one.

Thanks for listening.

Stop,

I am sorry that life is treating you so badly right now. You have my sympathies in regards to your grandfathers death.

I am not sure what stat you are in, but go online and look up divorce in your state and see what it says in regards to property.

Is you WS name on the lease for were you live now? If it is you might want to go ahead and say that he lives there, if it's not, why would you want to say differently.

It's ok to still love your WS, you don't have to like him and you don't have to enable him to continue behaving badly. Go over to General Questions II and look for Orchid or reverse babble and practice it. It really works.

And just a note on EA's it's an addiction and it's very hard to overcome, go read up on it there is a lot here, Knowledge is power and the more knowledge you have the better off you will be.

And lastly if you don't want a divorce then don't file unless you must for financial reason. He wants this divorce then let him do the work to get it.

Read as much as you can here and learn from others, so you will have knowledge!!!!

Dawn <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />