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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748 |
My love for Prince Charming dies a little, sometimes more, each day.
I often wonder if it is all worth it. He is not the man I thought he was. I am no longer the woman I was. I will never be the same again.
It's not just that I've lost my innocence and idealism. My children have also. They've been robbed of several potentially wonderful years of their childhood. Their trust was abused and they were used as camoflage for their father's affair. They knew what was going on. They suffered for so long, questioning their loyalty to their mother and themselves.
How could I have lived in denial for so long? The truth was too hard for me to bear and so I let my children bear it.
I have failed so terribly at protecting my children. I'm trying to make up for it. I hope it will be enough.
Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
Redhat
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,108
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,108 |
Lost,
I understand your feelings about the harm your children have endured. But you did not do this to them. Their father did. You were a trusting wife and mom who couldn't have dreamed in a million years what your husband was doing to disrupt your family.
Don't take the blame.
Love your kids, by all means. They need you.
What's more, at seven months out from dday the things you are experiencing are very common. It seems easier to just throw in the towel. We wonder why fight so hard for someone we don't recognize, someone we would have never thought could have done this.
Hang on. It gets better day by day.
~ Snow
Last edited by Snowbelle; 07/13/05 10:29 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748 |
Thanks for the encouragement, Snowbelle.
WH is acting particularily nasty and sulking like a rebellious kid that has been grounded these past few days.
I miss my H.
Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
Redhat
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,724
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,724 |
{{{Lost}}}
I can't offer you any advice, as you know what my sitch is now, but I am thinking of you.
I hope you are OK.
Alph.
Me, BS 37
Him, WXH (Noddy) 40
DD13, DD6
Married 14th August 1993
D/Day 2nd April 05
Noddy left us 3rd April 05, lives with OW (Omelette) 28
Divorce final 6th July '06.
Time wounds all heels... - Groucho Marx
...except when it doesn't. - Graycloud
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