When you are in a real plan B you have done the following

a solid Plan A where you demonstrated your best self for a reasonable amount of time without LBing

where you have done all the exposure necessary

and where you have written and sent a Plan B letter ... which is a letter outlining your love for your H, why you think the M is worth saving, and why you are cutting off contact with WH "in order to preserve my remaining love for you" ... and a roadmap home ... what the requirements are if WH decides to return to the M as you hope he does

and the Plan B letter includes an intermediary he MUST contact for business or childcare purposes only

there is to be NO GOSSIP spoken TO YOU by anyone about the comings and goings of WH and/or OW ...

Plan B is to take a physical and mental vacation from all the stress and affair chaos

none of it is allowed to be a part of your Plan B world!

if your friends tell you what WH said ... you are not in actual Plan B mode because you are still in contact mentally and emotionally

NOW ... are you doing an actual Plan B ????

I thought that I was until I talked with a friend. I guess I just wanted to know if he had any change of heart. I went into Plan B NC shortly after he left the 2nd time without Plan B letter. The two weeks that we had when he came back the 2nd time were going good. I did every thing that was good. Didn't use any LB tactics at all. Thought that he was having NC with OW. I believe that he wasn't for the 1st 2 weeks but according the his cell phone bill he was talking with her and best friend that last 2 weeks before he left. So do do any more plan a is impossible because we have NC which is what i choose because of my pain right now and when i did talk to him before NC he knows how to get to me emotionally and then I give in to his every whim. He's already taken everything away as far as assests goes and living the life while were here still not sure on where were going to go and little money. Yes i still have access to bank account but i have not been using it except to pay rent or groceries.

I guess I really need to wake up and realize that this isn;t about me and to start doing things for myself and start feeling good about myself but right now it's hard because i'm dwelling on every thing is all my fault.

Sounds like it is time for a real Plan B, letter and all.

That's what I was wondering if its to late to send a letter or what. He'll probable just chuck it without even reading it and I think maybe he might have gone to see a lawyer. And with everything that's been happening since the second time that he's left what kind of letter would you even begin to write,

Help needed.

D

Took a few days off and went out of town to try to get my mind off whats been happening. Got back today and found that I couldn't get on the net, now it's working.

Well my husband knows that I've filed, not sure if he's been served yet though. L hasn't contacted me.
Talked to my D last night, see told me that she had talked to her D and he was pretty P'd off that I had changed my number. hE also told her to tell me that I might want to talk to him first before I go any further with the D, also told her that I has ruined all chances of my D and son going to University.

Told today by friend that he says this is going to get real messy and that his L said it was to his benefit that I had filed first. I don't understand this.

Also found out that the house that we purchased when he came back the 2nd time is back up for sale. Not sure how he did this without my signature.

I feel that I am not getting any where with my lawyer, they say they can't do anything till he was served. I also feel that i am being ripped off here.

STBEXH is also trying to play my oldest son and D against me and trying to manipulate them because he can't control me anymore and this isn't fair, how do I or can I stop this from going any further. I havw to this day not bad mouth him or called him down. I have told my kids that what he is doing is wrong.

Son also told me that he met the OW when he went down to visit his dad. Told me that she was nice and that he got along good with her. The only thing he didn't like was that she stayed there and she was all lovy dovy towards his dad. My D said the same that she seemed nice and she got along except she felt uncomfortable. How can they like somweonwe who has taken their father and my husband away. I know it takes two to tangle but i feel that she is building up his ego so much that he can't see anyother thing thaT'S going on around him.

Why is it he feels he has to bury me emotionaly and financially so he can be happy.

Any good advise out there. Maybe it's time for me to switch to the Divorce forum. Can some one please respond.

D