He has no intention of ever being more than a "wallet" and peripherial member of this family. He wants limited involvement on his terms. I think there is something missing in this man. He has never truly learned to be a husband or a parent. He is unable to connect. He is an emotional taker not a giver. He is an enigma. A shadow. He's the man who at 52 will still put his hands over his ears to not hear something I have to say.
The problem is that there no husband, no dad in this picture. Never, ever has been. We cut him a lot of slack in the 15 years of cranky, no mobility pain before he had his hip replacements. Somehow in the past 6 years, he never came out of cripple mode.
YOu know Grape, you came "clean" with all of this stuff above that we all knew. I could sense all of this. That is why I felt your situation was so different. I think it is great that Mimi is your support Goddess, I really do, but everything you just said above IS BEYOND typical marriage building after an infidelity. YOur Wayward hasn't been the man you romantasiced him in 15 years...IF EVER.
DO you really think Steve Harley, MS is going to "shake" him up after a one hour phone call? I know you don't, you can't possibly believe that.
I think you know all of this already, you are just dealing with accepting it. Your post above was once again real and I appreciate the candor in which you talk. At the risk of offending Mimi or others, I truly think you are in essence shuffling chairs on the titanic with your efforts now with your wayward.
I know this might not be helpful to you, but I see the pain you are in. I can feel it.
It is good to have a "cheering" section, but at some point, the "aliens" have to be put away, and the realities have to be faced.
You are far stroner than you really think or that you give yourslef credit for.
I only wish you prosperity and a thriving life in the future. That is all.
Sour...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
