Yesterday my husband said that he would take my daughter (she's 2 1/2 years old) to his grandmother's to give me a break today. I told him that would be good because I had to work (at home on the computer).<P>Well, this morning a friend called him to ask him for he wanted to go to the Jet game. So of course I freaked out when he said yes. Not only did I have to work, but he promised my daughter that they would spend the day together. Even though she is only 2 1/2 she understands. And if he did go to the game, either I didn't get my work done and would get in trouble at work, or ignore my daughter, put her in front of the TV to watch videos.<P>So, he called his friend back and made up some excuse that he couldn't go after all.<P>Was I wrong in not letting him go since it is like a once in a lifetime thing for him to go to a football game?<P><p>[This message has been edited by Myhubbycheats (edited September 26, 1999).]

MHC - <P>I assume from your post that your H made the decision. Did you at all attempt to influence it? Or did you simply remind him in a loving way his prior committment?<P>I think if your H was able to make the decision without feeling any pressure from you than no harm is done. Even though he did promise, sometimes men get so excited about football that they temporarily go insane and "forget". If he came to the conclusion that he needed to stay home himself (with maybe a little reminder from you), no harm. What is his demeanor afterward?

Well, I tend to be a big push over where my H is concerned. Recreation is so important to him I bend over backwards to be supportive. However, you H did not handle this well.<P>Since you can not control that he first accepted and did not go into details of how you handled it, this is what I hope I would have done.<P>Say something like...Honey, I heard you just accept friends invite. I know you would love to go the game but we have a few challenges. Your daughter was looking forward to spending the day with you, and I am committed to working at home today. In fact if I do not complete this work, I will be in trouble. My work will take me x hours. If we can think of something that daughter would enjoy outside of the home for at least that length of time, maybe we could swing it. Do you think you will have a few hours when you come home to do something special with her so she isn't disappointed?<P>If you could come up with a plan, great...if not...if H watching daughter was only option, then he would really need to evaluate his responsibilities.<P>You H probibly wanted to go to the game did not think it was a big deal. You probibly thought of it as insensitive and unloving, which maybe he shouldn't have won the Nobel prize for a stunt like that, but probibly didn't have anything to do with how he feels about you or your daughter.<P><P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Hi there -<P>Being that you said you "went off on H" can it be assumed that you didn't say things quite the way FHL indicated?<P>If you didn't - I have a suggestion!<P>To try to repair and lovebuster here - how about apologizing for the way that you spoke with him and explaining it how FHL suggested.....A little late but could clarify any internal anger he may be feeling if things were tense.<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba