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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 340
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H Offline
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 340
On this day 15th of July I married the man of my dreams, I would never guess it would end like this. Last year I was doing Plan B with no contact when suddenly four days later I receive divorce papers from a state thousands of miles away.

This anniversary was going to be special, we were planning to renew our vows in Las Vegas, we were talking about it since our 10th anniversary. Now we are divorced and he lives in Las Vegas with the OW, not the way I had pictured it.

Two years ago I started planning a scrapbook of our wedding day. I did make a scrapbook before, but they didn't have the scrapbooking supplies like they have today. I had to be creative by using bride magazines, the computer and party favors. So I thought I would surprise him with a new scrapbook of our memories. I started to buy the supplies when we were still living together. Some of my friends think I should go ahead with the scrapbook (just for me) because it might be good therapy. I don't know what to do, its hard to but the banner "Happily ever after" when the marriage is over. Then again it is an event in my life and one of the happiest days of my life.

I plan on pampering myself today, but as I look to the future, will this date ever become another day on the calendar. There is this woman at work who would have been married twenty years on June 12th, even though she has been divorce for ten years, and married to someone else, she told me every time that date comes around the memories pop back up.

I know I should not be doing this to myself, but I wonder if I'm going to cross his mind today. I already have been reminded of him this morning, I received a call from his High School Reunion Committee, trying to locate him. I'm thinking of emailing him the info but I will wait a couple of days, I don't want to email him on our 15th wedding anniversary.

I know I have to move on with my life now, and everyone tells me it takes about two years. I just don't know how you stop loving someone.


BS (Me)41
WH 41
D-day 1/7/04
H moved out 3/4/04
Served Vegas Divorce 7/19/04
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,323
M
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,323
Oh dear, I'm sorry.

Don't worry if you feel like you don't know how to "stop loving someone". Things will heal as fast as they need to heal.

I'm a big fan of taking time to go ahead and feel bad when you've got something really worth feeling bad over. Some things only get half an hour. But I think something like this is definitely worth a day or a weekend. And when you take time to go ahead and feel bad, do whatever works for you. If that means coming and telling us here about it, do it. If it means a whole lot of ice cream and syrupy romantic movies, do it. Whatever works for you. Grieving is a time- and energy-intensive process, and sometimes you just have to give it a slice of time and energy or it can't work itself out.

Hang in there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


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