My Dearest WH:

I write to you today with sorrow, but also with a sense of peace and hope for my own future.

I love you with all my heart, and my commitment to you and our marriage was unending. I have always been so very proud of you, proud to have you as my husband and proud of the man you were. You have always been a wonderful father to DD10, and I respect you more than you will ever know.

I regret that we find ourselves in this place that is lonely and confusing for both of us. Until August, I did not understand how truly miserable you were. I did not realize how my inablility to let you be the true head of the household, my lax approach to keeping the house clean and the selfish way I approached our life together affected you. I was lost and did not know how to change. I did not understand how to properly display the love that ran so deep, to the very core of my being. I repeated the mistakes of my mother, and foolishly over-ruled decisions regarding the children, when I should have presented a united front with you. I didn't understand what your needs truly were, and how I could meet those needs in order to allow our marriage to flourish.

I have done a lot of soul searching over the last several months and believe I have found the tools we need to make a marriage in which we are joyful, loving and supportive. I have made many changes in my life over the last months. Some of these you have noticed, some you have not. Some you may never know. I must continue with my changes and have demonstrated to myself that it's possible and that they are permanent. I still have much work to do, but with every success I have, the hope for MY future brightens and I have the confidence in my ability to make positive changes. My hope is that I will be able to share this bright new future with you.

As my hope for my future increases, so does my sorrow over how easily I have been cast aside by you. I find my love for you dying. In order to preserve the love I still have for you and to stop my bitterness from overwhelming me, I must remove you from my daily life. I will avoid seeing you and speaking with you on the phone. I must give myself a fresh start in a happy, positive environment. This is not a punishment. This is a safeguard of my love so that if there should come a time when we can both commit to working on rebuilding our marriage, there is still love and hope left with which to do that.

If you need to contact me regarding DD10, or any other matter you can do so through my sister XXXXXX, her number is XXX-XXXX.

WH, I have the greatest confidence that we could have a wonderful marriage if we both committed to making it happen. I have learned so much these last few months and would like nothing better than to share it with you.

Should there come a time when you feel you could commmit to trying to build a new life with me, it is something that I would like to discuss with you. For me, a commitment toward working for reconcililation would include:

1. An agreement for you to break all contact with OW.

2. The removal of your cars from her garage.

3. A letter to OW, stating that you wish to have no further contact with her EVER .

4. An agreement to go to marriage counseling.

My hope is that you will think hard on this and choose this commitment. If you do, I would welcome a discussion with you about it. Until then, I ask that you respect my wish for no contact with you.

You have always been, not only my husband and lover, but my best friend WH, and I can't imagine whom I'd rather spend the rest of my life with.

I Have Always Loved You,

Caren