I've tried 3 times writing out what's going on and apparently kept hitting the wrong button, so...I'm cutting the story short!

I just found out on the 7th, called the woman, confronted my husband, they ended all ties, his family knows and have all exploded on him (I talked to his step-father needing someone to talk to and he obviously told my mother-in law, his grandmother AND brother. Either way, they were very supportive but I've decided not to talk to them about it all, and now, I don't have anyone to talk to cause I don't think it wise to talk to my fam or sisters about it, right?

I'm sad, angry, pissed, hurt...you know how it goes, but he doesn't seem to care. His career is not going well right now, and that is honestly all he seems to be focused on. He did aplogize and express his remorse and all...

But I've been faking it all. He jokes around and carries on as if our marriage has not been shaken and I don't say anything cause I don't want to make him feel guilty all the time

(By the way, his career has him away from home for several months out of the year and we have 2 children 5 and 20 mos.)
I called him today and said, "If this is not a good time, could you please let me know when you're in a mood so that we can talk about where we are." He said now was not a good time. We're in a small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone's business, so I honestly wouldn't trust going to get counseling here, but I want to go through something together. I printed off some stuff from the site, and intend to ask him if he'll go through that with me if he won't agree to counseling.

Am I going the right route? Is it too soon? What should I say when we talk about this so that I'm just down beating him over the head about what he's done, but at the same time, I feel validated?

each day seems like eternity!

Please, help.

Thanks,
Angel (no pun, that's my name)

Welcome to marriagebuilders. Weekends are very slow, so you might want to post on general questions.

Who was the OW? Is she married? Are you sure they have no more contact?

Usually the WS wants to sweep it all under the rug. But that won't help your relationship. He must answer all of your questions, and be willing to talk about the affair. If he will not, there is very little hope for fixing things.

Thank you very much. I have no idea if she's married or not. But I must say, I am very excited! My husband called and we talked. We were actually able to talk about it. He totally understood and was sensitive to everything. I would have never anticipated his response. AND he said he would be willing to do whatever, go through materials and do counseling once he got back. I feel sooooo much better knowing that we can talk through this. I'm thankful I was able to vent here and not have to find someone trustworthy to talk to!

Thanks again,
angel

That is great news. Now start reading everything here. Check out the articles on the home page. Check out the recovery forum, and general questions.

Recovery is the hardest part of all of this, so be prepared.

I finally got in,I can so feel your pain. I found out a week ago that my husband of 21 years has had a thing going with our son's friends mom, who by the way acted like she was my friend to get info. She is married also and is denying the whole thing ever happened. Her husband doesn't know yet! I'm going to meet him tonight to let him know what he is married to. It happened in my house with our 2 1/2 year old there! I just can't forgive!

You also need to get yourself ck'd for std's. I did and was so releived. I am sorry but you know how the world is today -he needs to be ck'd as well. He needs to tell you who she is and if she is M and then if she is tell her H. Also a NC letter to her written by him and you mail it.