I've been with this man for 21 years. I have loved him even when he didn't deserve it. He has mentally and sometimes physically abused me. I just found out a week or so ago that he has had a thing with our son's(age 17 & 15) friends mom. Who actually tried to be my friend. In my house with our 2 1/2 year old there. He swears it happened once but they continued to talk for months. I don't know if the actual act or that he talked to her hurts me more. My children are devasted as well as her son. She is totally denying that this happened. She doesn't want her husband to know. I feel since my life is tore all to pieces her's needs to be also. I plan on seeing her husband tonight.
Let me say that this happened in Jan, feb of 2005. I first caught on to the cell phone bill where both of them said they were talking about me but nothing happened. My husband agreed to do something for me finally so he paid for me to have a boob job,it has of course been pretty good the last few months until I found out that the sex happened before they even started talking.He accused me of cheating on him and called me names and it was him that had done it. He swears they are not talking anymore and I don't think I even really care. I want to get this anger hurt and fear from me. I really need to talk to someone that might understand.

What exactly are you looking for? There are many resources on this site wrt recovering from infidelity, but I have ask what you intend to do about the things
liek the mental and physical abuse and protecting your kids, and all those kinds of things.

You are understandably angry, but what's your real priority.

As to stopping affairs, exposure is one of the first steps in making sure that it doesn't happen again. On the other hand, if your H is going to beat you over it, then you have other much bigger concerns...