Never thought I would be on a board like this.
3 months ago I found that my wife of 20 years was having an affair. It had been going on for 6 months with a married man. He lives 1 hr from our town. I found out by the cell phone records. All I thought was that it was an emotional affair talking on the phone and seeing each other occassional. Found out last week, that they had slept together 5 times, all in the month of March. I have never felt the pain and rage in my soul as when I found this out..
This affair is over with. His wife knows about it, and I know about it. I have even talked to him on the phone.
I have nelected my wife for 2 years. I know that. By all of this happening, I have found a new love in my life. MY WIFE!. By paying her the emotional needs that she has, we are coming together more and more everyday. This so called man she had an affair with, promised her the moon, said that he would be there when my wife's mother was dying. ( she died this week). I think my wife saw who was there with her every step of the way. My question is this.
When will the pain go away? at times I am fine, but the hardest part is going to sleep at night. I ask my wife questions when I think about them, and she tells me.
Has anybody on this board been married 20 years and have been married another 20 years after the affair?

There are lots of people here who were married a long time when their spouse had an affair. And many have gone on to have a much better than before the A.

I hope you are talking to your wife about why this happened. Part of it might have to do with her mother being sick. But you both need to really understand what went wrong.