so, this dating thing....how do you do it after divorce...not that I am even near ready to do it...but I do find myself "looking" at the opposite sex more now...I find them looking at me too...it feels good.

sooo, how do you meet people, then how do you DATE? I hven't dated in so long, I wouldn't even know what to do...how to act...

I find it interesting how us "divorced" people find it difficult to "date"...and look at WHY we are in this position in the first place...cuz our XS's have put us here...yet they found it EASY to have the affair...

sooo, is the AFFAIR the same thing as "dating"? I just dont get his dating thing...how do youdate with three kids anyway? It's not like I can have someone over for DINNER! GULP!

"excuse me while I scream at my children, and get the dogs out and...OMG...DATING! AGH! I cant think about it!

anyway, just curious...how do you feel about it? Are you comfortable? Is it awkward? What's it llike? does you spouse care? I know that my STBX is very jealous of me going out or even atlking about it...he flips out when I talk about dating! HOW DARE I TALK ABOUT ANOTHER man! I'm still married after all!

OH REALLY! And your new family???

MovingForward,

I don't recommned dating until your divorce is final and don't discuss it with your STBX. Before our divorce was final my WW would tell me about her love life and she even told me how heartbroken she was when she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 months. (One of many boyfriends I may add).

I filed in Oct 04 and it was final in May of this year. I have gone out on 2 dates and have become friends with another very nice lady. The first date was very uncomfortable for me. I felt like I was cheating on my X-wife!!! (Go figure).

I am somewhat still healing and I don't know how to feel about dating yet. So, take this slow....

ditto to what BH said. Especially after watching AD's recent emotional roller coaster adventure here on this forum, my suggestion to you is to kick back and relax a bit... QUITE a bit. Many of the answers to your questions are on these threads... check 'em out. Otherwise... please please please put your curiosity on the back burner, and focus your energy and healing on yourself and your boys.

hugs,
Faith1

I lived with my ex sleeping on the couch for almost 3 years then lived alone for 9 months after he left before I dated. I still don't know if I am ready.

Emotionally I was pretty detached from him, yet I was still not really open to another relationship.

As to the how? Join things that you are interested in doing like bowling leagues or church groups. Use a dating service. Ask your friends and neighbors to introduce you to potentials. The hows are endless and only limited by imagination. It's the "who" that is the difficult one IMHO.

V.

It sounds like there are things about dating that are outside your current comfort zone -- and why wouldn't they be? It's not like this is something you've had reason to stay in practise on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You can do a lot to make yourself more comfortable with those things without diving straight into dating. If having to make conversation with someone you don't know sounds scary, you can practice that, for example, by making chat with people you run into in your usual activities, people you don't normally talk to.

If you can think about what it is that sounds overwhelming about dating specifically, and list those things here, I'd bet you that the posters here can come up with some good ideas. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

***Warning***
***This message is not for the humor impaired***



Why Date? Just hire strippers.


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Reborn Man!!! LOL.

Dating. Hmm. I think there are so many ways to go about it. My divorce will be done soon, thank Heavens, and I've been giving some thought to dating.

I've been separated for over 2 years now, so I think emotionally I'm ahead of the game. Well, except for the building physical pressure. That counts against me.

Anywho, I've decided against internet dating. People are looking for relationships or quickies. I'm more in between. I just want to meet adults. So, I'm thinking about "It's Just Lunch" and the HurryDate type services.

I figure getting out there and conversing is a great way to start.

MovingON, just think, any man who survives a dinner date at your house when the boys and dog is present is around for the long haul. It could be a terrific screening technique.