yup he is ...kinda scary really ... maybe this is what he has been waiting for ....I don't wanna be gloom and doom here ... but I wonder if he does not try to contact at all it may be something he really wants. I don't intend on responding at all to him ,I would just like to see if he will try

I was being funny. Of course he will continue contacting you. That is his pattern. So think of how you can be GONE. I don't care what you do, but don't be available, and don't tell your kids or relatives where you are. I mean just tell them running errands, so there is nothing to report back to WH.

As an outsider, I can see perfectly clearly that this thing with OW won't work out. But he will have to be "free" to figure that out himself.

Oh I agree this thing with OW is not going to work everyone see's that but him. Oh yeah, I figured it out tonite I can't tell anyone anything. I just mentioned to D about the SS numbers and next thing I know she is the phone giving him all the info. so now I know not to tell her anything for sure or he is going to know it.

As far as OW and him go I know its gonna blow, I just wish it could blow soon so he will have the chance to start thinking and becoming the H I married to 24 yrs ago. But something tells me its gonna be awhile .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I had just had a vision of your WH being Wylie Coyotee (sp?) you know from the Road Runner... thinking up his next absurd plan for contact. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

LOL confused, that is way to funny .....I never thought of anything like that ....he does seem to come up with some good ones I must say ....

Confused - LOL, that is how I'm thinking. For someone who doesn't care about his wife, he sure is dependent on her.

Hurting - I don't think it is going to take him to long, once you remove yourself from the situation. Just remember, any contact with him, and you are aiding the OW. Let's see how she does, meeting all of his needs.

The thing with relatives is that if you let them know anything, it goes right back to WS. That is what happened to me. My WH had a fairly accurate picture of my life, even though I was in Plan B, because my kids, his kids, and my sis-in-law filled him in. That is just human nature.

I go ya there believer, I am telling nothing anymore tot anyone who talks to WH. As far as aiding the bimbo... NO WAY that gonna happen.

Not to sure about the dependant thing really , he has managed to b distant since thursday since all ****** broke loose. I mean lets face it he is changing his life insurance policy now....

Anyhow its all a matter of time now and one thing I do have is time on my side ....

Re: insurance
hurtin'
Yes, the owner of the insurance policy can make ANY changes to that they want to at ANY time. I'm so sorry. However, if it comes down to a D you can ask that a condition of the D be that he pays for a policy on himself that you are the beneficiary. A judge is likely to grant it if he is required to make payments to you for any length of time. Just a thought.

I follow your thread alot since it helps me with my WS.
Be strong now. God never gives us more than we can handle.
But sometimes I wish he didn't trust me soo much.

Truly

Be kind,Every person you meet is fighting a hard battle

i bet he's waiting to see if you will contact HIM!

i bet he thinks you will call to say sorry i wrote it! i didn't mean it!

but maybe he's just thinking about it...

Ty for the information truly. I will definatley keep that in mind about a policy. MMaybe I am way off base but agter all these yrs and now this I think I deserve something besides all this pain and grief.

My MIL thinks he is blowing smoke and trying to act like a big man to look good to his kids. I don't know if thats true. Just seems strange that he all of a sudden thought of something like that, me thinks OW is putting him up to
alot of stuff to prove he wants her... I know alot of this he would not thinl of himself, he never did before I was always the one handleing all thios kind of stuff ....

He may, or may not be changing his life insurance policy. I think he is just trying to get a rise out of you.

That is why you need to be ready to buckle down and get dark. I will be betting that something else will come up tomorrow that he needs to talk to you about.

You are the one we need to work on right now. Start thinking of things to do, and places to go.

I dunno eav.... you may be right. I do hope he is thinking about it but I am not counting on it right now....

Like I said I think OW is running the show right now, which is ok because the H I know won't stand for it long ....

I bet he is going to contact you...I bet he thinks you are going to contact him...I bet I bet I bet...

This is exactly the kind of thinking you should NOT indulge in during Plan B. I know I know. It will take awhile to get there.

Do be prepared for contact -- stay out of the house, disconnect the phone. But he may not try to contact you, and it doesn't necessarily mean one thing or another.

Try to think about something else. Stained glass cutting isn't a bad idea...or bull-riding...

Hurting,

Oh boy, Your WH is turning into a drama queen. Its only been a few weeks since all this has started, and look at the many twists and turns he has taken. Ya know what his big thing seems to be?? He wants to be a major cake eater. Don't be surprised if he doesn't change the life insurance, take it for what its worth, fog babble... blah, blah, blah... He is trying to scare you into eating cake. I don't know, but do you really need S.S. #'s to change beneficiaries? Not on mine. Could he be just trying to get your attention?
The whole silent treatment... More scare tactics.. fog tactics.. sheesh... He must keep himself up at night dreaming up what he can do to get your attention. he takes the cake alright.
He must be crying to OW about all the terrible treatment you have been given him. Aww she says, poor baby, here have some more cake.
Ok so everything gets back to him from family members. So he gets his fix that way. Hmmm.. this COULD work to your advantage. You need to become a GREAT actress. Fake it till you make it. Be SOOOO very happy around family. Especially SIL. ASK NO QUESTIONS about him. Do not talk about him... Its about you... you, you, you... all the fun you are having. What a great day today was. WH who? Oh him, I haven't thought about him all week. He will be climbing the walls. OW will be frustrated. I mean after all, she didn't get into this to listen to him go on and on about what is hurting up to? Why haven't I heard from her? What is making her happy when she is supposed to be miserable thinking about ME?
Go out, have fun.. leave parents without partners fliers around the house. Oh yeah... Do not go to SIL's if he might be there. Have her bring the kids to your home. (Be sure, when she comes over, there is a nice vase of flowers on the table with a card that reads thank you, and a little heart. ) Ark is great at this stuff... maybe a little shout out to her will help.
My H only came around with me when I was happy all the time. That is when real recovery started. Of course I was faking it at the time, but soon after happiness was real.

Thats what everyone says believer, they all think he is tryiong to get a rise out of me or make me scared. Well it won't work. Oh I have pleanty of plans for the next few days for sure. Job hunting is the big one. I have to move some furniture around and then this weekend its time to tackle the yard. I hate that job ....

Actually I have to say I feel pretty darn good right now , that I have a plan on how to deal with all of this chaos. Have not cried since this morning and actually feel like a load has been lifted.

Well I am not so sure SIL is telling him anything actually. and my MIL and other SIL don't even talk to him at all, he has turned on them as well. He won't even speak ot them. The only one who tells him anything is my 18 yr old D. And believe me she tells.

I really don;t think he will complaine to OW either especially after all that happen in the last week or so. I am sure my name is a sore subject in that apt.

but anyway who cares at this point, I am doing for myself and my kids.


Hmmmmm A.M. glass cutting sounds interesting , I love doing crafty things .......

Another idea for you... Look into getting a job in your local hospital. Most hospitals will pay for schooling, even if you work in the kitchen. Be sure to mention to SIL that you are looking into this field. After all, you can live anywhere in the country and find a good job if you have health care experience ;-)

Well that sounds good but I am not good with hospitals and blood and all..... But ty for the idea .....

Oh no hun, She be telling! Its the nature of the beast... she be telling!

Ohhhhh I got ya ........