at this point, I don't think anything will phase him.... he is so determined to make chaos over the house....

Trust us on here. It'll phase him. May take a week or so, but he'll be "phased".

inanutshell,

ty for being here for me today.... I just am so scared right now and don't know what to think. I feel like this man has taken total leave of his senses.

It just seems like its getting so bad, with no relief in sight....

Focus your mind on other things even if it's couunting sheep. Take a nap if you need to give your brain a rest. Rest is good for you at this point. Just don't let yourself rest too much and become more depressed.

Do things to move forward. Pick up that phone now. Call the insurance, call the job service, go to their website instead of staying on MB all day. Don't overwhelm yourself and take breaks, but do something even if it's a small thing.

Just got back, turned about 8 job apps. I filled out. Went on the Okla job link looking for work. Sure hope something comes through soon. I really need to work and get out of the house. Need the money to .....

I thought about all of this crap from this morning and I realize he can't do much of anything right now so worrying about it is unproductive.

Gonna have to take it one day at a time and move on. Easier said than done though but I know it will get better soon.

I just miss my life that I had before all this started, I guess I mean the life we had about 2 yrs ago before all the stress and depression hit. It was a good life and marriage before all of that and I miss it so much.

I know life will be good again no matter what happens, I just feel like I am lost right now but I am finding the right path a little more each day. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel but its still far away, but not as dark as it was a month ago.....

Good for you, Hurting! I'm glad you are feeling more hopeful. Yes, take it one day at a time....

That's great getting job apps in. Networking with friends, relatives etc. and letting them know you're looking for work is really effective too. How long has it been since you've worked? Are you putting a cover letter on the apps to separate you out from the rest of the crowd? Do you have a resume?

I know what you mean about missing your life. It's sad, but even when you get your life back, it's not like it was. Never will be again. You'll have to find a new "normal".

I have been a stay at home mom almost the whole 24 yrs. I worked in an office from may 01 until July 03. Then I lost that kob due to a total office shake up. Then my son and DIl moved in with grandchildren and they were so young and dumb , WH and I decidedI would stay home to help care for grandson. So here I sit with no real skills ...

Not only that I just got home and found my phone has been turned off because I have not had the money to pay for it..it been all I can do to pay the basics so now I have no phone..... Can this day get any worse ????

you have skills..you just have to figure out how to market them. If you can get a job in a school system working with kids with student supervision its a foot in the door. Benefits are usually pretty good. Or a Nanny service or party planning, craft store or any service oriented industry. Chances are you'll have to work your way up but find something you enjoy. From your posts it is pretty clear that you are compassionate, hard working, ethical, willing to learn and you catch on quick. Sounds like a pretty good employee to me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ty for the vote of confidence confused. I sure needed a boast in that dept.

bad part is all the apps. I put in have home number on it , now no phone . I ave never had anything turned off before in all these yrs. I just can't believe my life has fallen apart like this . Going to try and get a loan from my mom , hope she can help .....

Well, at least you won't have to worry about your husband calling you.

very true ...... but that don't help the job hunt calls. he still knows the cell phone number <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

They don't turn your phone off missing one payment I wouldn't think. Are you the one that paid the bills? WH walked out the door and didn't leave you with a dime? What about the power etc and necessities. Are those going to be shut off? You still have a minor child living in the home don't you?

The job service may have a program in place for "displaced homemakers". Have you asked about those types of options.

Nope it was 2 months worth. But the phone has been the least of my worries when I have 2 kids to feed. The other utlities have been more important as well. Ligts, water etc .....I don't know anything about displaced homemakers. I would not know who to call.....

Use your email address. This will work just as well. How are your phone skills. That is a high turnover job. They would kill to find someone who can be kind and gentle to customers. I would start looking at the banking, mortgage and investment companies. After what you have been through the compassion you could show would be immense.
Know this, you are never too old or too inexperienced to get a start.
How about the nursing industry. Work while you juggle thing to get at your CNA/LPN or something. You can do what your mind sets in motion if you can get a little support.

ty BKarl for the information and kind words. I am going to do what I have to. I will make it through this rough patch. And I know I will be a better person for it. Again ty all for your support

I know I am not suppose to talk about WH and OW while in Plan B. But the dreaded conversation with MIL never happened today. Seems WH and OW had to start their bowling season tonite and that was more important. Actually it works for me . Maybe now he will just calm down and forget all this crap and just do his thing while his walls come tumbling down......

I have some plans for tomorrow in the job market thing. I am determined to find something this week with god willing.
There has got to be something out there I can do.....

well this day is just getting better. Seem D just called WH and asked him for some money for grocery's, and no I had no idea she was doing it. Anyhow he told her he basiclly sucks to be you. she told him what do we do he says you'll live.. so now sounds like to me he is cutting off the money.

Bad enough he left us like this now he is going to not give money.... And I can't get legal help nowhere ..... I am so screwed by this man ....

Legal Aid couldn't help you at all? If you don't qualify for legal aid. What about a referal from them to an attorney than handles cases pro bono? Human Service may have a link to something like that to.

Are you in a large city or a rural community?

Well file for food stamps etc. Here's a link to some potential places that can help you out. Call the job service in the morning and ask about displaced workers programs. If the programs aren't through them, they should be able to tell you where to go for help. If not call the Human Services offices and find out what assistance they may be able to give you.

http://okcareertech.org/cimc/titles/lifeskills-pfs/toughtimes/communityagenciesthatcanhelp.pdf

Then WH can deal with the state welfare system and owe them money.

He has an obligation to support the children left at home. Can go bowling, but can't give you money for groceries. Makes sense to me. Start a journal if you haven't already. Document for the future in case you need it.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's time to get angry and use your anger to help you get things done.

Check with your courthouse. In California, you can file for dissolution or seperation yourself. Then it goes to court, and the court awards temporary support. All you pay is the filing fee.

Is your daughter working? Might be time for her to look into a job, or some kind of aid to help out.