Hello all,<BR>I dont post too much. My husband and i have been separated for about 6 months. I am trying to save our marriage, however he is involved with someone via the internet. He is torn which direction to go in. Well today i feel hopeful, cause he said that he might say good bye to her. My question is how will he be able to feel like he made the right decision. I will feel like if things arent going well that i let him down, and he would wish he was with her. I am already insecure and wonder how i can deal with that. If anyone has been thru this let me know. He only knows her for 3 months and feels almost as close to her as me, and sometimes he says they are closer. It really hurts. we have been together for almost 15 years. I need to remain strong and positive,anyone gone through this???

enjoy the hopefulness. my story is not the same as yours but maybe this will help - in hindsight my husband says that even though he thought he felt closer to her than me, he sees now that that was not true. common sense tells you that in no way can he be closer to her than you after 3 mos, especially via the internet only---even if he feels like it- he is believing a lie, like a house of cards it will fall.

Rosita, my H also felt very close to his ow. And yes it was scary. I thought I was the person he felt closer to.<BR>But I had to look back and agree that for a while we weren't as close as we thought.<BR>Still, it is possible to work things out. I was married for 15 years when it happened to us too, by the way.<BR>Just be understanding and help him reconect with you again. There are a lot of things that we usually do to and for each other when we get married, that get a bit lost in all that comes after with work, and responsabilities, and kids, and more work, and... no wonder it happens. Try to get back to those beginings, talk to him - those big talks we have when we're starting a relationship and where we tell all about ourselves and our dreams and stuff. Remember to do the small things you used to do for him. try not to let him feel like he has to defend his actions, but instead let him feel that he is not judged when he is with you ( i"m not sayin pat him in the back and tell him having an affair is very nice dear, just let him feel confortable with you without having to be looking for excuses or lie about what's going on). Let him want to be with you again. ANd then work from there.<BR>Take care<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.