You should be able to block his # specifically from calling you. Call the cell company and check. Do not involve yourself in the chaos that is his life. NC with WH.

If you cannot block him, then just erase his messages. If your PBL was clear, then it should have instructed him to contact SIL to tell you things. Ask her to remind him to review the PBL and to make it clear that any message sent directly to you will be deleted without being listened to.
Protect yourself and your boundaries. If you reply to him when he has broken your boundaries, then he will not believe you are serious. He will not respect you. Take care of yourself and remove yourself from the chaos. You need this break.

He needs to feel the consequences of his A. You just met an EN by taking care of the bill. Men have a need for Domestic Support and you just met it. STOP IT. He needs to know what it will be like to be divorced from you. You would not do these things in those circumstances, do not do them now. BOUNDARIES!!

Change the locks--today!

Improving,

All of those things have been taken care of today... he is giving me the extra money to pay the bill... I want to send it myself this way I know its done.... I have to protect my credit and if this is paid ny me I know its done... The bill is in my name after all....

No more boundries issues here .... He now knows I will not see or speak to him ...

Time for him to crash and burn on his own.... and I don't want to be part of it ....

He now knows I will not see or speak to him ...

Sorry, but he doesn't know this. Prepare for more contact.

Well he is suppose to know it believer..... I know he will try but try as he may it won't happen .....

I am going so dark he will think I have moved away .....

just ya watch .....

I'll be watching. You can bet on it. Yes, he is supposed to know, and he DOES know, but he needs contact with you. That is quite obvious.

Ok believer you keep watching my friend. I am going to do this believe me .....

he comes by here the door is locked the blinds are drawn and I will just sit heretill he goes away..... I am not answering any phones because he has called from numbers I don't know ..... so this is my plan ... And another thing once I get a job I tell eveyone not to tell him were I work .....

Hmmmmm. I'll believe it when I see it. I made a HUGE mistake by not doing a dark Plan B. My WH continued contacting me for a couple of months. He showed up in the morning when I was going to work, showed up at work, showed up on Sunday when I was going to church.

He needed me, not to be his wife, but as a back-up in case things didn't work out with OW. Don't let it happen to you. Give him a good taste of life without you.

Oh don't you worry .... I will not allow him to see me or speak to me ... I see him coming and i am gone .....I know what time he has to be at work so I can hide in the house until then .... as far as weekends go no problem there OW is off work so we never see him lol I don't want anyone to tell him were I work .... in fact may not tell anyone but MIL ... Sure won't tell D she has a big mouth

Glad our town we live in is pretty big ..... in fact I have not run into him anywhere except the bowling alley .... And I know how and when to avoid that place .....

Hurting -

Don't be satisfied with just locking yourself up in the house and hiding from him. There are so many things in life you can do.

Before D-day, I had always found my satisfaction in being a wife and mother. That was my whole life. I did work, but my main efforts went toward my family.

When all of this was ripped away, I was completely stunned. I had no identity apart from my husband and children. I had very few friends, no interests, hobbies.

In the last 3 years, I have become a different person. I started my own business, got a promotion at work, learned to speak Spanish fluently, joined a gym, learned how to SCUBA dive, am an expert marksman, took care of casualties coming back from Fallujah (okay, I emptied their bedpans, and let the RN's know when they needed pain meds, made their beds, took their phone calls - not exactly Florence Nightengale).

What I am telling you is there is a whole world of things to do. You could apply for a scholarship to go to school, start a business, anything. This is your time to grow and see who Hurting is, and what she likes.

I know what you mean believer. I had no intention of locking myself up in the house. I have friends and things to do. I was just talking about making sure my home was safe from his invasions and making sure I don't go anywhere I know he is at...

I am going to get a job and do what I need to do.. Not to worry I will not become a hermit.

Well I am off to do some job apps..... Wish me luck.

Last night I came to realize that yes I do love my H and I want him in my life , but I don't need him to be able to live and enjoy life....

So with that in mind, it will be easier to do planb.. I just hope he comes to realize someday soon that he wants me in his life.

So onward and upward I go ........

Good, get out there and get busy. You ARE starting to take care of the family - food stamps, etc. Sooner or later, someone will give you a job - they will get tired of you asking. The worst part of not having a job is the feeling of rejection. But that is also the only way to get a job, to be willing to go through lots of rejection.

your right believer. the rejection is the worst part of all of this.....

But it will get better .....

But SOMEONE will hire you. I could tell your awful stories about looking for a job when my kids were little. My husband had a heart attack and couldn't work. We were starving, and I desperately needed a job. I used to get up in the morning and drive 30 miles north to leave my boys with a friend, and then put in applications, day after day.

It just seemed like no one wanted me. I was "overqualified", "underqaulified", blah, blah, blah. But I finally got a job, and have been working for the last 20 years. So hang in there, and don't give up.

Well I have a very good feeling about the job I went and applied for today. The lady interviewed me and I think she liked me.... anyway she said that I will be hearing from them.... I hope she does call. it may not be my dream job but at least its a job.....

She asked me about being a stay at mom and why I was looking for work. I told her my sitch and she was like oh how awful, I can't even imagine ... I was told her I had to move on with my life and finding a job is the most important thing for me now.... So lets all pray she calls ....

Did she say when she would call by? If she doesn't call today, follow up with a phone call to her tomorrow. Always a good idea. good luck