Sorry Hurting. I left the computer, and my 3 yr S posted before I was finished writing. As soon as I leave the computer he runs to it and starts pressing keys. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I am going to call her this morning.... Seeing how he has not let anyone else know he is here..... I guess I will do it ....

Called SIL she does not want to be involved anymore.. She is tired of dealing with WH she says she is done with his crap... So now what do I do... No one wants to talk to him

Gosh, at this point I don't blame her for wanting nothing to do with him. I don't want anything to do with him either. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Can you think of anyone else?

Love, Lady

Nope he has cut of all our friends and his family is pretty much done with him.... Only person I have is DD and I don't want to put her in the middle but I may have no choice right now....

Why can't he do the right thing by us? I just can't believe he is willing to throw all of us away....

Hurting - You can talk to him abouat finances and kids in Plan B, but ONLY those things. No relationship talk. I would just wait till he calls next Friday.

Yeah, I don't blame you for not wanting DD in the middle of it. It says alot when his friends and family are done with him. He is reaping some consequences.

He can't do right by anyone right now. You are the only one that he thinks he has on a string left in the family. Cut the string... He doesn't deserve any respect, or attention from any of you any longer. Let him have OW all by himself, he will be miserable!!!!!!!

Love, Lady

I don't know if he will call next friday. I am not sure how his pay is going to be done, I have no idea if his new job is going to be direct deposit or not... He may be having his checks come in the mail or either getting them through com-check. Com-check is were they tell him how much his check is and he can get it through a truck stop. If he does it that way then I have to wait for him to mail it to me...

I need to know how this is being done so I can figure out how I am getting the money...

Well I don't think he really cares if he is miserable at this point in time....

He is happy according to him..... I sure hope this OW is worth all he is giving up... But of course I know her and believe she isn't worth much at all..... Stupid man can't even see what a sleeze she is ...

No offense to you & your children, but he is just as much a sleeze as she. I'm sorry Hurting, but the talk you had with him on Tues, and the time you spent with him. For him not to take that seriously = sleeze to me. I have lost all respect for him.

Love, Lady

I had DD call him and told him to call me. He called right away. DD said he was very grumpy and cold to her. He called me was not cold to me or grumpy. In fact he sounded a little down. He tried asking me about the job situation but I turned it to the moeny situation right away.

He says he has not figured it out yet. He says he is going to do direct deposit eventually....

I told him when you figure it out let me know... bye ...

yeah I am starting to loose it myself.... I just can't believe he has turned like this after all these yrs. And this is a man who used to be my rock and loved me so much..

I never doubted his love and devotion now its like I am a fly on the wall to him....

I guess I just need to accept that he is gone..... I like you thought tuesday night might have meant something but I guess I was wrong.....

I have to get going Hurting, but I will be on later. I hope you can refocus and put this all behind you soon. He isn't worth the time of day right now. I just hope he doesn't mess with the only strings he has left now and that is the finances and children!!

Love, Lady

who knows what he is going to do .....

Have been away from the computer for several days - just catching up on your story. Don't think I'm being a hard-[censored], but here's my 2 cents.

DD - Consequences to actions. If she doesn't have them, she doesn't learn. No money to pay fine she gets to suffer the consequences. She took your car without your knowledge and got a ticket. She has a cell phone and that costs her money. No dollars to pay for a fine, no cell phone. KWIM. Cell phones are luxury items, not a NEED item.

As far as WH goes. I would expose him to OW. He spent the night with you and she should know that. Mail her a card and let her know where he was last Tuesday evening. Stick to the facts period. Make a copy of it as evidence of what it said.

You - not to sound like a broken record, but you're still focusing too much on what HE might be feeling, how HE is going to handle such and such etc. etc. etc. You get the drift. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST and other things will fall into place.

Don't give him the time of day. DARK

I thought about letting her know .. But what purpose woould it serve? It would just really make him angry with me...

Wouldn't it just push him further away????

I don't think you should tell the OW. You are in Plan B and what you need is to remove yourself from the drama. Besides, this is a secret between you and H that leaves a good taste in his mouth. Better to leave it that way if you go dark. Their affair is going to collapse anyway eventually.

Well Mel that was what I wanted... I wanted something for him to remember... And I think telling her would ust cause more of a wedge between him and I than him and her.....

I think it would make her latch on even harder....

I disagree. EXPOSURE

I also disagree that it will drive a wedge further in your relationship. What relationship?! CAKEMEN - Have their cake and eat it to and that's exactly what he's doing and has done and will continue to do.

WhAT HAVEYOU DONE?

I warned you yesterday about the need to stay dark...

You didn't listen???

Am I hearing suggestions to call the OW...

Don't do anything but GO DARK....

I KNOW THE PATTERN OF A CAKE-EATER..I WARNED YOU ABOUT THIS...

STAY AWAY FROM THE OW IN THIS CASE....

You do not want to sink to HER LEVEL..

That feeds right into her hands...

You are special..she is a sleaze....used to being in a pig sty...do not go there with her...

IMHO - She's not going anywhere with OW. She's informing OW of WH indiscretions - EXPOSURE. I believe (without going to read it over) that MB site literature says expose, then WH's secret is out in the open.

Hurting wouldn't be confronting OW, just informing her in a sentence where WH was last Tuesday. Simple as that. No scene etc. She isn't sinking to her level because she's not confronting, she's not causing a stink, she would simply be stating a fact without drama. WH spent the night a our home last Tuesday. End of sentence.