I saw the thread where atrueheart was talking about "watching the tape" over and over again and it struck a chord with me.

Now that I know STBXW is leaving at the end of Aug and the D should be final in Dec, I have really been wondering if I am simply "picking at the scab" by reading the continuous horror stories of the new members of MB. I don't know if I have the strength to REALLY move on after STBXW AND continue visitng the website that is a reminder of my ordeal? Is this making sense?

I do want to help them (the newbies) avoid some of the pitfalls that I fell in during my time, but, OTOH, to "live" with infidelity daily (as read in MB) is not be healthy for me either.

I will probably end up leaving at some point (whether I like it or not, MB and I have a has a dichotomous relationship as it was my MAIN source of support. BUT...MB is also a daily "reminder" of my nightmare).

I will not leave in the "dark of night"...I'll post that I am leaving with nothing but fond feelings and res pectfor those who took the time to share their own experiences and help me during the darkest days of my life.

I'll never forget MB and how it got me through this, but, oddly enough, I hope I NEVER have to tell anyone to come here because we KNOW what that means... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

Should I need to refer anyone to MB, I will surely tell then there is NO better place to be while enduring the utter betrayal of infidelity...

Weird mood for me today...as you can see...

WNB

Y'all can't make me leave....lol

Actually, as you can see I've been here a day or two. My divorce is long gone and I'm actually getting remarried here in less than a week. So why do I stay. The obvious is to provide others with a sense of hope and share with them the knowledge I've gained. But actually, more importantly to me, is that I still 'GET' from this site. I get friends, many that I've met and talk to regularly on the phone. And now that I'm in a relationship, I get a ton more. As I read through posts, I look at how screwed up some people are and that makes me keep my actions in check. It's kind of funny, I was reading a post the other day and just hammering away at someone and I realized that I had a similar behavior, not to the extreme, but definately something that I need to work on.

So how long will I stay? I imagine I'll be here for a good long while....