It felt good! A bit of "venom" was released...I kept it focused on his BEHAVIOR and it was cathartic to a certain extent.

I told him that I only hoped that I heard about it when the great Hammer of Karmic Justice finally dropped on his "lifestyle". I would revel in his discomfort!!!

My favorite part was that I hoped that his daughters married men JUST LIKE HIM! I also asked him what he would think if his daughter's were married to men LIKE HIM!!!

Not a good day for being a "nice guy", but look what it got me...

I don't expect to hear from him...he's a notorious chicken$h!t.

I also BCC'ed STBXW...let her know that I did it.

A little vindictive to STBXW perhaps, but I don't think it rises to the the level of offense as "dropping trou" for any horn-dog that expresses an interest in you.

No real "desired result"...he needed to know what I thought of him.

Back to my regularly scheduled programming... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

WNB

I'm sure you felt alot better after you vented your feelings.

Believe me - he didn't hear you..I told my WH (STBXH) the same thing - his daughter was recently M and I said she's either gonna be a cheat or her husband will...And since WH daughter has helped him w/one of his A's..I told him I hope someone rips her heart out like her father did mine..What was WH answer...My daugher would rather have me S$#@# anyone than YOU....

They NEVER see what they are doing..Heck, WH XW (his D mother) had an A w/a MM for 12 flippin years...How's that for teaching your children Morals, Standards, Dignity...so I guess she feels it's OK for dad to cheat too..

I just thank God - that I learnt my lesson on cheating and breaking hearts. It's funny that WH never fails during an argument to remind me that I lied, cheated on my XH w/him..Yes, it's been 13 years ago but it's the only thing he has on me..so he uses it against me..I don't care what he says - I "own" that mistake - I will never deny it - but, I also learnt from it..That's what sets me apart from him....and oh he hates that about me..

The minds of these cheats are sooo screwed up...THEY DON"T GET IT - THEY JUST DON"T GET IT...NOR DO THEY CARE...They are here for themselves and live day to day..that's it...they give nothing...

But, I'm glad it gave you a sense of relief...I too can't wait for vengence day..it will come...

Hugs Buddy...

You were once a Wayward Spouse as well? What "Karmic Justice" did you experience?

You wished ill for his daughters? Do you REALLY wish this for them? Do you know these girls? Ouch.

My Dad always used to say, 'When you point your finger at someone else, you must notice the three pointed back at yourself.'

I know you're hurt but WH, I doubt in the long run this will make you feel very good about yourself.

My wife of 14 years recently had an affair that has since ended. She says that she -married me because I was her safty net. All the things she wanted, except she says she never really felt true deep love. She does't want to go on missing out any more. We have scheduled a day this week off work so we can talk. We have a psycologist appt together in the afternoon. I want to convince her I can change and show her my love, but she won't let me in anymore. Please help me with a plan for the day we talk.

I just want her to believe I can change. We have two boys
(7&9) and I can't bare losing any of it.

What "Karmic Justice" did you experience?

His wife cheating on him w/ many other men...

WHandBS, what if your children marry men like you? or your sons marry women like their mother who also cheat on their spouses? What IF THEY become the one who cheats?? Just like BOTH of their parents have done??

Would that be karmic justice as well??

I cannot change what I have done...my IC said my real weak link is the continual [censored]-kicking I give myself for being so weak and betraying my first wife. It is a battle that I have every day telling myself that I have FIRMLY set my values instead of telling myself what a lowlife I was...

I have made REAL amends to ALL parties concerned, unlike my STBXW and her cheating partners. My DS16 figured out why STBXW and I were D'ing and I told him of the REAL perils of infidelity...it's now his choice whether or not to learn from my mistake.

I have done a terrible thing, learned from it and am a work in progress for the better...I cannot say the same of those who committed affairs against me.

BTW, he won't care...he's (STBXW's OW #1) been a serial cheat his entire time in the Air Force (a retired Chief Master Sergeant no less! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> )...a sociopath who only cares about his next conquest...it was more for me than anything else.

Pehaps it was a bit harsher than it should have been...talking about his kids, but asking him if he wanted men like him for his daughters is a fair question...

WNB

It's interesting now...I have been pissed all morning at STBXW and yet I am controlling it...

I guess it's like the horrific wound that still "twitches" with pain fromthe healing process...

How are you doing? I hope things are progressing nicely for you...

WNB

"I have made REAL amends to ALL parties concerned, unlike my STBXW and her cheating partners."

Making amends doesn't make us better than those who don't, it just means we learned the lesson from our mistakes more quickly than they.

Just as you, they can't change what they have done either. Forgiveness is more for you than it is for them. It will provide more release than telling the offenders how horrible they are or wishing ill for their children. Just as with your son, don't you wish they his daughters see the pitfalls of adultery instead of suffering from it's damage?

These "firmly set" values that prevent you from telling yourself what a low life you were seemingly have been re-directed toward others who have walked the same path as you.

"I have done a terrible thing, learned from it and am a work in progress for the better...I cannot say the same of those who committed affairs against me."

Is it your place to sit in judgement of what is going on in their heart? Can you really know what they are feeling? Do you think making these statements that wish harm to his children indicate that you are a work in progress for the better?

I think you will one day profoundly regret your actions described here. Please rethink contacting any other of your stbx's men.

It was a lashing out...I took an emotional "shot to the head" and I have never been able to "hit back".

I won't be contacting any more of them...it is energy best spent elsewhere...

This forgiveness thing for my offenders...I have been thinking about it and don't quite understand that...I know the bitterness/anger cannot remain (for me to move forward), but how does me forgiving them work?

I am curious...

Thanks JPH

Not feeling too good right now...I should have left the D's out of it...

In hindsight, this just wasn't worth my time...

Lesson learned...

Sjcc, start a thread and you'll get a lot more attention. How did your apointment go? How are you doing? Are you on the Just Found Out board? or just here?