Firday I decided to take DD and DH to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I invited WW to come along. She had plans with a girl friend. I dropped her at GF's house at 7:00PM and picked up the little one at bible school. She said she would call.

We got home from the movie. No word from WW. I put the kids to bed. No word from WW. I was getting ready for bed (1AM). NO WORD FROM WW. I proceeded to call my cell phone (she took it so she would be reachable) 25 or so times (little freaky, I know). Now, NC with OM has not happened, so I knew what this meant.

I woke up Saturday morning. No word from WW. All day Saturday. No word from WW. I was headed off to my 10-year HS class reunion. She wasn't going because she had to work at the last shift at the restaurant she works at that is closing. She was going to buy a bottle of champagne for this shift. She was very excited about it.

I was walking out the door for my reunion. Her work called. She didn't show up. I called her freind. She has been trying to reach her all day. She confirmed she was out with OM. She was worried b/c WW will always answer her calls. She is 9 months pregnant and WW is going to be in the delivery room with her. She hasn't even called to check on the kids.

At this point I am very worried. I didn't know whether to call hotels or hospitals. I imagined her dead somewhere, killed by OM. Anyway, I called in a missing persons report and went to my reunion.

After I left, I decided to make the 1 hour drive up to OM's trailer. I remembered the addresss, because it was very close to an address I had in another town. His truck was there. Keep in mind this is 2AM Sun morning.

I knocked on the door. OM answers and I see the suprise and fear on his face. He probably thinks I'm there to beat the [censored] out of him. (The thought did cross my mind). He goes and gets WW.

I sat outside his place and talked to her for about an hour about how she has almost everyone who cares about her worried sick. (I had made some calls). I told her this could not continue and she needs to get her [censored] together in a big way.

She said that she was sick all day and it got later and later... I said a F*%king phone call would have been nice. She said she wouldn't have known what to say.

I asked her that if she was serious about wanting to leave and be on her own, why hasn't she filled out a job application in the last 2 months. I asked her to come home with me. She said she couldn't because she was scared. I was completely calm and have never done anything to her that she should fear me. She said when she is around me she feels like throwing up. (Guilty conscience). She said she would call first thing in the morning. She said "What's the matter?"!!! I said "I'm leaving my wife at her boyfriend's trailer, do expect me to be kicking my heels and dancing a little jig?" I left.

about 4:55PM Sunday, she called. We talked a bit more. I found out she had not called any of the people who were worried about her. I told her she should. She said she would and then call me back.

I didn't talk to her until 7:00 this morning. I told her I had already made plans for the kids to go to her mother's for the day, and she needed to figure out what the hell she is doing. We are supposed to sit down tonight to talk about it. WHAT SHOULD I DO?????

See a lawyer as soon as possible to protect yourself and your children. Do you really need a piano to fall on your head? How much humiliation and disrespect are you and your children willing to endure? Enough is enough!

PROTECT THOSE CHILDREN FROM THIS MESS....that is what you should do. Going up to some God forsaken undoubtedly $hit hole trailer "begging" your wayward wife to come home with you at 4:00 am is NOT going to bring her back. The OM and her no doubt had a laugh at your expense when you sauntered back to your house after being rebuffed.

Calling the cell phone 25 times looking for her is making you seem like a psycho.

I know that you are hurting and life has dealt you a blow, but IMO, your focus should be on those kids and PROTECTING them from her. Her actions are down right disgraceful. YOur WW is out to lunch, or whatever.

Document all of this stuff and protect the children.

Goodluck.

Sour

P.S.......Does this fit the "pattern" for ME or what.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Bryanp has a point.

Either you ar ewilling to exist on the crumbs she drops you OR you value your heart as highly as God does.

You already lost here, dude, can you lose her MORE by having some self respect and policing personal boundaries ?

Read love must be tough by dobson. fast

all blessings

DKM,

Oh how I remember those terrible days.... Hang in there.

Remember you can't control or protect her, she is calling her own shots. Selfish, selfish, selfish... She is in WS mode big time! Don't be surprised by it, expect it. If its anything like my WW by the time she's done she will have alienated all her friends and family.

Be there for your kids. I also suggest looking into legal options to protect your children. She is not making good decisions. She could be dangerous to you and your children.

Miker

Get a backbone and get it fast. The level of disrespect for you and the children is way way over the top. Your wife has absolutely no respect for you. Here's hoping you have some for yourself. See a lawyer ASAP.

You have lost your wife so don't think that anything you do can make you lose her, for she is already gone, replaced by an alien.

Have you exposed?

Again, you cannot be a doormat. The most important thing here is whether you are willing to do what it takes to protect yourself and the children. Stop rationalizing and making excuses. Do what it takes to protect your children!!!

Yes tonight I believe I will being switching to plan B. I have carried out what I believe has been a very good plan A. I would have liked to have had more time, but I defined boundaries and she continually crossed them.

I will tell her calmly that while I still love her and want to help her in any way that I can, I can not let her do this to me and the kids any more. If she wants to completely self-destruct, that is her choice, but she is not going to destroy us any more in the process.

If the tries the "You did this to me" defense, I will counter by saying, "You were depressed, You were unhappy, You felt unloved. You know yourself better than I could. If you can't make yourself happy, and you can't love yourself, what could I do to convince you that I could."

I will make arrangements for the kids to stay with my parents during the day until school starts. I will tell her that I do not think it would be a good idea for me to leave them with her. If she wants to see them, that can be arranged, but she will not be alone with them all day anymore.