This may sound a little familiar but I need some advice... here is my story, I have been married for 5 years... When I met my DH... I was deeply in love with him.. Something about him made me go crazy, I mean seriously just couldn't get enough of him... I was like a little puppy running after him. of course we had sex before marriage... which to our surprise our 3 yr old daughter was conceived this way. So when I was 7 months pregnant we got married and after the baby was born I didn't want to have sex, didn't feel the same way... Over the years divorce has come up more than once... Plently of times... he says I don't give him enough attention. He says that I act like I don't care anymore about sex or anything. Well we got pregnant again and I am 7 weeks postpartum and again... the feeling is there... No sex drive... I use to adore this man and now I feel like we are strangers in the bedroom... why? He is threatening to leave now and I don't know what to do. Yes this is alot on my part but I don't understand my feelings... Can anyone tell me what is wrong with me?

I really need some advice if anyone has any to give. I realize I have been on but just starting today but I need to know if any one else has experianced this

confused, welcome to MB. Is there any infidelity you are dealing with in your M? Get the book His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley. Both you and your H read it and fill out the emotional needs questionaire. You have children that need a secure happy home.

Have you seen a doctor about this?

No... You think its hormone issues

Could also be you are suffering from depression.

That may be the case...

confusedafmom - there is nothing wrong with YOU!

there may in fact be some internal issue(s) that you have to understand about yourself but please understand, YOU ARE OK!!

it might help us if you tell us a bit more. is there any infidelity issues in your marriage (you do know you are on an infidelity site, right?)

No I didn't realize that I was on the infidelity site... Oops... no infedility... He is threatening that if he doesn't get it at home he will go somewher else. I am 20lbs overweight and this is from having baby... I feel like I don't want to have sex... Is this normal? I want my sex drive back. During sex I feel like I am not suppose to do anything.. I feel embarrassed

this must be very uncomfortable feeling for you.

was there a time when you did not have those feelings or did you always feel that way?

When we were dating... then after the my first DD I gained alot of weight and now I only have 19lbs to go for my goal weight... Which is good I know but I feel embarrassed about my body... He loves my body you can tell but why do I feel this way

if you were to ignore the number on the scale just for a second...

are you happy with your eating habits? are you happy with your exercising habits? do you feel overall healthy or unhealthy?

I am working out... I am 7wks postpartum and just started back to working out 5 days a week. I am active duty Air Force so working out is mandantory... which I like to workout. my eating habits are better now that ever...

that is excellent.

so why are you embarassed about your body?

I dont know... I feel like I am doing something dirty when we are having sex... I feel like I am gross to him... I wanna have the mentality of a 18 yr old again...

how old are you now?

something has to be driving this new view of sex. there is something inside of you that is trying to get your attention.

do you think any of it has to do with getting pregnant prior to being married?

No.... I was molested as a child but have gotten past that... I am one of those children that their mom's never talked about sex too

do you agree with the following two stmts?

the feelings you are having are not healthy.

they have nothing to do with your husband.

i would strongly recommend individual counsoling. i would also tell your husband how you are feeling and ask for his support. but he can only support you. you have to do the hard work to figure out what is going on inside of you.

what do you think?

I agree fully with you... I agree they are not healthy at all... I feel like the fire in me has burned out

i bet if you told your husband all of this, he would want to help you thru it. what is probably very frustrating for him is if it looks like nothing is ever going to change. i say this because i now see how my H watched me have issues that i never attempted to address. and that decision of mine to not work on figuring myself out (because NOT doing something is a decision too) has had very direct impact on him. and by impact, i do not mean just the infidelity.

getting into IC(individual counsoling) would show him you are trying to figure out what is going on and should help him hang and back off some.

i know from experience making those initial steps towards counsoling can be very hard and scary.

is counsoling something you are open to?