Hello for the first time in a long long time. I want to tell all of you, I started here in 1999, desperate to try and rebuild a marriage, realizing that back then I was more afraid of being alone. It did not work and I have been divorced for over 2 years and in that time, I have had a hysterectomy, a double masectomy, a major argument with one daughter who moved out for 11 months and two hurricanes that totaled my house, spent 4 months fighting the insurance company..... BUT...... I'm GREAT!!!!! I have literally rebuilt ME and my home!! All my children (21 & 18) live with me and my 18 year old, well I am so proud of her, she has sweat equity, she helped me rip out walls and rebuild them, better, stronger and more beautiful and she volunteered to help, I never asked her to help, I had to ask her why she was helping and she said "well mom, you let me live here rent free and you don't have too, you do a lot for me Mom". I am relaxing this weekend (I only worked on refinishing a dresser, lol). I have been resilient and determined but my home is 10 times better than it ever was and I did the major changes myself. I'm 47, 5'8", 122 lbs, and full of smiles. I'm not seeing anyone, still have my old friends, some new friends, and my children. I'm in charge of my destiny. I did some dating for awhile and its funny because my X has spread some bad rumors about me, at first it was irritating and then I realized that I don't want anyone who won't judge me on my merits and my XH pays me alimony so it all works out to my benefit, keeps the riff raff away and I get paid for it!

The XH well he remarried a year ago, and just before he went out of town for his job recently, he paid cash for another woman's oil change on a dark blue tracker then took her to lunch at the restaurant next door but had to run out when some of his co workers walked in, what he did not realize was the attendant is a friend of his daughters and had met him and the new wife, this woman was not the new wife, the moral, the leopard can't change his spots, but more importantly it never had anything to do with me. I feel sorry for the new wife, been there done that one but I'm thankful that I'm out of it. My daughters dislike the new wife but they were also surprised that their Dad is repeating history.

I have very few regrets, and maybe that is what is showing in me, I'm happy, motivated, content and I refuse to give it up. I have so many special people in my life, I'm not empty and I never was, it took a little time but I'm blessed and I hope all of you find all those special people but especially find the special person inside of you.

HUGS TO ALL!!!

lila,

That is awesome!! Thanks for sharing!!!! I feel very mcuh the way you do, I am happy!! I have no regrets, I tried he didn't.

Funny how things are so similiar here at MB, there are many WS out there that married the OP and are now cheating on them with someone else.

My kid sissues are different then yours, they aren't doing what needs to be done but hey that's on them.

Everyone deserves to be where you are at in life and hope that this post gives them the encouragement that they need to get them selves there, it's only them that can!!!!!

Best wishes to you and the house rebuilding!!!

Dawn

Lila: Looks to me you're down with it.

Great outlook and nothing but cheer. A lot of people can take a lesson form you... Keep up the good work!

Harry

Harry and Daybreak, thank you and it takes time, too often we don't give ourselves that time, I'm glad that I did and still am. Of course I'm still working on that dresser, I did slow down this past weekend, even caught a cat nap! To often I see people who "have to be in a relationship" even when they are bad ones, well, I like my current relationships as is, friend, mom, sister, they are dependable, respectful, trustworthy and fulfilling. I know how we might "feel" alone but as we heal, we see the value in those that have stood by us and realize we were in a fog, now step out in the sunlight and I started laughing and dancing with my children! (in front of their friends much to there dismay! of course then they danced with me too!)