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To know or not to know.........................
#1430443 07/18/05 03:31 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 44
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In_Pain_in_NM Offline OP
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In_Pain_in_NM
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Found phone bills--calls when was with her and not where should have been. Should I confront or will confirming more deceit just make me feel worse? I know he cheated-do we need to discuss every lie I catch him in? Sometimes don't think I can handle all the info and then he gets mad. Any advice?? Thanks in advance!
Re: To know or not to know.........................
In_Pain_in_NM #1430444 07/18/05 04:51 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033
SoCalNoCo
K
krusht Offline
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krusht
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K
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SoCalNoCo
In Pain,

Reading your past posts, it seem your H is remorseful, NC is in force, and he is trying to rebuild and reconcile?? Yes??

If so, every little clue you find now, in my opinion, does not need to be brought to his attention. That would be like scratching at the scab, and not letting the wound heal. Right? The new clues don't really matter now.

If you find evidence that the A is still going on or you discover another OW in the woodpile, then is the time to bring it up.

After our Dday and things were all out in the open..I still tried to find and open her past email corrospondence with OM. Which would have just sent me deeper down the depression rollercoaster. Glad I didn't.

k

CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
Re: To know or not to know.........................
krusht #1430445 07/18/05 06:50 PM
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Posts: 44
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In_Pain_in_NM Offline OP
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In_Pain_in_NM
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I think he's remorseful--he won't give details at times because he "doesn't want to hurt me" but also because it is "embarrasing" for him to talk about. He is a silent communicator (something that desperately needs to change); I ask questions and get NO response. But the look on his face says he feels awful (about me? himself?). He's seperated from OW so will hope and pray does not contact her when away on business next week. I think I will keep the phone record info to myself and watch for anything in the future and then confront. He has mentioned that when we get into past issues, it feels like"pulling off the scab"--thanks for sharing your experience. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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