So here is my situation. W and I have talked about a D, (she wants it but I don't) and we had decided between us who was going to get what. The last time I talked to her she said we should use the same lawyer (W had talked to one who said it would be easy to do since we had agreed on who gets what). I told W I wasn't going to get a lawyer because I couldn't afford it.

W plan was to file under irreconciliable differences and I told her I would sign them even though I don't agree with it.(It's obvious she is not willing to try to work on things)

Now, the other day I got the papers in the mail. Two things that she trying to get judgement for is for the court to equitably devide our stuff and for me to pay for all her attourneys fees. I can't believe the nerve of her. She says one thing to me and goes out and does another.

I can't believe she trying to get me to pay for a divorce I don't want. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do and does anyone know the laws about irreconcilable diff.?

big,

Go online and look up divorce in your state and see what it says about irreconciliable differences. That is the way my x filed on me as it meant no court appeareance and was to be faster for him, I didn't want the divorce so I wasn't going to do any of the work for the divorce.

My x did pay my lawyers fees he wanted the D let him pay for it, his lawyer tried capping them at $600 but he paid them all. His lawyer tried getting us to both use him and I said no. We had worked everything out between us too, but I wanted someone that was looking out for my best interest and only mine.

You can probably have a lawyer look at the papers and advise you for a nominal fee, some states you don't have to have a lawyer, like I said look up divorce in your state. Knowledge is power so gain as much knowledge as you can, read everything that you can about divorces in your state, look and see if you can find out how judges in your area usually lean as far as wives and husbands.

I believe you are at the part were you counter what she is saying and send the papers back to her lalwyer. Do not have any communication with her at this time let her talk thru the lawyer.

Anyways, sorry that you are at this point in your life, it stinks and it hurts, lick your wounds and then prepare to move on, it's hard but it is the only way that you get ahead!

Dawn

Big:

First of all {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you.

I agree with both you and Daybreak, if you don't want this divorce then you shouldn't have to pay for it.

And, if I were you, I would retain an attorney that's going to look out for your interest.

Don't make it easy for her, she knows you don't want and can't afford this divorce so, if she wants it she'll have to work it out on her own.

Don't agree to anything that's not going to benefit you.

Stay strong and stand your ground.

Good luck!

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