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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 256
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Hi I have posted on this site A LONG TIME AGO, it was right at the beginning of my seperation/divorce and it helped me a great deal. I now find my self in a situation. I have been divorced almost 5 years now (12/14/05 will be 5 years). Since the divorce I have had other relationships, but I have never felt the way I felt or feel towards my exhusband to this day. I still love him, just like the day we married and I fear I will for a the rest of my life. I was just wondering if I was alone in this.


"You don't have to be great to start...You have to start to be Great!!"

"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."
Joined: Nov 1999
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Joined: Nov 1999
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I am not sure if this is the correct place to have posted this or maybe under a different topic or heading?????


"You don't have to be great to start...You have to start to be Great!!"

"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."
Joined: Dec 2004
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I'm sure you're not alone in how you feel.

it would seem like these feelings are really holding you back tho'.

And there's nothing wrong with missing him, or the occasional wistful rememberance. But if the thoughts of him are still controlling you and keeping you from moving forward and getting on with your life, then perhaps you should consider some therapy and explore it in more detail.

Joined: May 2005
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It's not crazy because I have been away from my husband going on 2 yrs now, and still feel very much in love with him still. Most people think I am crazy because the divorce was an ugly one, he has done some horrible things to me and still tries.

Unfortunately, I still have this crazy hope that some day my marriage can be restored (I hope he doesn't read this). It's a lot easier said than done for people to say "move on". Only you can do this in your time, and some people take longer than others. Divorce is compared to death, because it is the death of a future that you once dreamed of.

Just trust that God knows your heart, and if there is someone out there for you, someone that can heal your heart and begin a new and fresh love...he will send them to you. God never works in your time though, we have to be patient and wait for his time.

Joined: Nov 1999
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it dosent really hold me back...I have been in 2 relationships since the divorce and I didnt end them. I was wanting something more serious than the men I was involved with.

My ex was having a affair and left me for the OW, they have never married, but do have a child. He is a different person when he is around her, kind of like Dr. Jekle and Mr. Hyde (even his family has said that). We still talk as we have kids. When we do talk it is always about the children and that is the way I keep it. I consider him a friend for the sake of our kids and won't fight with him, thats just the way I chose to handle the very difficult situation. I am still very close to his family and see them weekly....

We didnt get any help when we were going through the divorce, I did on my own and it helped me a great deal.

I honestly don't sit around and hope that he will come back one day, but I am not aginst the idea if it happened....I guess I am a bit wishy/washy on him.

Looking back on our relationship, we married too young and had kids too soon. We didnt talk about what was wrong, I would ask him if he was happy and when he would say yes I was fine, even though there were issues that he was having that he for some reason or the other could not talk about.

Anyway I was just wondering if I was alone in this, it is not ruling my life and I am not losing doors to new relationships.... I just focus on my kids and go from there....


"You don't have to be great to start...You have to start to be Great!!"

"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."
Joined: Dec 2004
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Then I think you're pretty emotionally healthy where you're at. Don't think there's anything wrong with the occasional backward glance...

There have been relationships where a WS has come back and the relationship has been restored, but it's certainly unusual... And as you said, you're not holding out for this.

No matter how you slice it, D is painful, and those wounds can take time to heal and forget. Seeing his family regularly probably doesn't help with the forgetting part, rather it serves as a constant reminder. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do...

Good luck.

Joined: Nov 1999
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right...in reguard to his family...he lives in another state and they watch my kids for me as well as my family, so it is really not an option, and I want my kids to see and have a relationship with their grandparents and aunts and uncles.....


"You don't have to be great to start...You have to start to be Great!!"

"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."
Joined: May 2005
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The children need to feel that there is a peaceful relationship between families. They are a part of BOTH families, not just one.

Familyof3, you are very lucky to have a civil, mature relationship with your ex in laws. Good Job in not alienating your children from his family, they are very lucky to not have to people in their lives trying to play tug of war. More families of divorce should take on this approach.

Joined: Jul 2005
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You have been doing a great job with your children and I commend you! Be PROUD of yourself!! Your kids have benefited greatly from a wonderful Mother. Try journaling about your feelings. Get them all out. If that doesn't help enough, go see a therapist a few times to help you get a different perspective.

Joined: Nov 1999
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Good lord....Last night while I was looking for some information on my wedding ring (from the EX), it was stolen and I need it for insurance. I found some disks, I looked at them today and they have letters and such I wrote to my ex during the first stages of the seperation and divorce. Man I was bad, I look back and read them and I was really hurting...thankfully I am stronger, but I save them so I can see how far I have come....

thanks for listening


"You don't have to be great to start...You have to start to be Great!!"

"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."

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