About 6 months ago i became arrogant and was always right and extremely snappy to my wifeher friends and mine so much so that she went away for a few days to stay at a friends.
When she came back she said it was over but that same day she decided to make a go of it but she wanted a trial seperation.
A week l8r she decided she didn't want to leave and still wanted to make a go of it.
While she was at her friends i realised myself what i had been like and have consequently changed and improved and i am not like that anymore. 5 weeks ago she came upto me to say she had feelings for some one else but i have since found out she knew about 3 months ago she is 38 yrs old but is supposed to be going out with a 24 yr old who has the mental age of a 14 yr old which was told to me by his uncle because this young lad lives a few doors down from his aunt and uncle and is round there every day as his PC is at thiers. He lives in Scunthorpe but we live in Norfolk and my wife does not hav a car and does not have much money. She is continously txting him and he is her and ringing each other up. She is not living with me but ha contact with our children. When they talk on the phone they talk like friends other people have witnessed this themselves.I have also found out that her family are gently trying to persuade her where her bread is buttered as they know she still loves me and still cares but we are trying to rebuild the trust and respect up that we have lost. I will also say that at the time she found out about this lad i was not paying her much attention and he was as we spent a lot of time on our PC's. Everyone around me and her family have all said that at the moment they think it's a midlife crisis and that she is trying to capture her youth again. Please help me in this matter are they right. They have also said she will be back but it will take time as my wife prefers security.

OK..well, the thing that is probably sticking in her mind the most is her last impression of you..which as you say wasn't exactly stellar..but that's ok..we all made mistakes.

So right now..you need to be in PLAN A.

How often do you talk..do you have any Family tie with the kids? There may be ways you can start to reconnect. Is she willing to join you in counselling?

BTW..vent all you want about the OM here..but never do it around her..would be a HUGE love buster.
T

ok. she is now living 14 miles away in a caravan which is her mum and dads and i have since found out they are only putting her up and not helping her at all this time. I have all children with me but am giving her staying contact with them. i have recently been given a letter which was written by him to her and lets just say it might as well have been written by a twelve year old not sour grapes i assure you it has been seen not by just me but by other people i have not let them see it it was seen before it got to me. He is still living three and a half hors away and they both do not have transport nor the money. she has now known him for 8 months throught the internet and has only seen him about 9 times in all that time. My WS rung me up a few days ago and we had a laugh and a joke on the phone for 45 minutes and her txting has been a lot nicer than it originally was. When i now ask her how the children are when she has them and then i ask how she is she responds back saying they are all fine when originally it was the kids are fine. Also i have since found out this young lad has asked her to marry him and she has said yes. The problem is he lives at home with his mum still and he has two brothers one with systic fybrosis and the other has severe brain damage and he is always at his mums beck and call i am beggining to wonder if he only sees my wife as a complete mother figure as she is nearly forty yrs old. Once again please help i have a strong gut feeling that she wants to come back but has got herself caught in a rut and doesn't see a way out of it. Also a lot of her friends who know her aswell as i do have all said the same thing that she will be back but sometimes i wonder and my patience is starting to wear thin now as she is fast losing a lot of friends and family over this and is making a complete fool of herself. What should i do. and no she won't agree to counselling.



on a different note r u aloud to put images on the forums.