I just recently found out that my Husband cheated again. I have been dealing with his cheating, affairs, etc. for over 6 years now. I though we were finally doing better. I was trying my very best to meet all of his needs. I have loved him with all of my heart and soul. I am very strongly against divorce, but I finally give up. He is not a loyal person. He will never be a loyal person. I can not take it anymore. I cried last night. It was so hard to lay on my bed and try to fall a sleep without his arm around me. In some ways I feel numb. I thought I could save our marriage and make us work, but I was wrong. I cry for my 3 beautiful children. This is so unfair to them. They are cheated out of so many things by all of this. Rene is the only man I have ever been with. It is so difficult to piture my life with out him. I never thought I would be a divorcee. It goes against everything in my body.

I have to leave to go teach Summer School. I pray I do not break down in front of my students like this. Please pray for me and my children.

I am sorry SD. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair does it? But be strong, this will be a huge hurdle but other have gotten through it and survived, you can too.

After all that you have been through you seem like a very strong and giving woman with a big heart. I will pray for you.

Tell us what happened?

I'm so sorry SD. Hang in there. We're all here to listen and try to help. HUGS!!!

Hi Stormy,

I was actually wondering about you the other day. Hadn't seen you post in a while.

Sorry to hear things are still the same with WH. Keep on being the rock for those kids and make sure you look out for yourself too. Your kids need you so you have got to remember to take care of yourself too.

Sounds like you've given it your all and got nothing back. Its really sad. 6 years is a long time to be going through this. I know there is no way I could have lasted that long. Someday your WH will realize what awful mistakes he made.

I wish you all the best.

Miker

I would tell you my story, but it is so, so long. Bascially, I have loved him with everything I have and he has changed his mind about wanting me and the kids off and on for over 5 years now. He has lied, cheated, you name it. But, I am so pathetic that I still love him. I want him to value marriage and our family, but he never will. It is finally really ending in divorce. I am having a very difficult time coping.

I am at home. I am off on Fridays in the Summer time. It is so quiet and lonely. I am trying to take baby steps. I feel like I can not function. It is so quiet and lonely. I have never lived alone without an adult roomate, family member, or for my HUsband. I have me children, but it is so completely different than also having my HUsband here. I wish I could forward three years into the future. I am not confidant I would feel any different, but I pray I am wrong. I am such a loyal person. I am never been with anyony else at all and I have never even pictured it. I feel so lost, lonely, and dark. The marriage is over with and we are getting a divorce. I am so pathetic. Why can't I just accept that and move on. I am 31. My children are 3 1/2, 2, and 1. I want and need to be strong for them and am failing.

Thanks, Miker. I cried when I read what you wrote. I hope he doea realize one day and regret throwing away our marriage and our family. At this time it does not feel like he will ever truly feel that way.

You're not failing, you're just feeling. It's like grief. And it has to be gone through.

But you *will* come out of this a better, stronger person. And don't blame yourself for your H's poor choices, even tho that's an easy trap to fall into.

Yes it isn't quite that simple to just move on... I know. You have to go through all this hurt and pain first. Unfortunately I don't think there are any shortcuts. But it does get better, and you will feel better eventually.

Do you have family and friends (or a church) that can help you out and give you some support as you go through this? I know it can be overwhelming doing it all... especially with such young children.

You need to spend some time focusing on yourself and finding your "new" life which is hard to do with 3 little ones running around demanding all your attention. I know its hard to see the positives but these changes in your life will present you with new and exciting opportunities. Its tough to see that when your mourning the death of a marriage but they will be there and I honestly believe you will find your own happiness if your open your heart to it.

Look for your own happiness and let WH mess up his own life. You deserve and will find a good life on your own if you have to. You do have the strength if you look deep enough.

Take care,

Miker

Your post really touched me, because I could of written it. I too am having a hard time accepting the D. I did everything to try to save the M, but just recently I realized that I can't and in order to survive I must let go. Letting go has been extremely difficult. I cry often, but each day I get stronger. The pain that Miker describes is so true, but it does eaze. I have good and bad days, but I realize that I can't control H's actions.

I too pray that H realizes someday what he walked out on. He had a W that loved him enough to forgive an A and try to work on the M. He has a 2yo DD that will not have Dad everyday. But if he never comes to realize it, it is his lost. I am trying not to worry about him. Learn to live your life for you and your children. The hardest time is when you put them to bed. That's when I read and post here. Friends and family are great support, but after a while you will notice that they can't understand what you are trying to hold on to or what you continue to cry about. I believe all of the posters when they say it takes time. Post here because so many of us understand and are living what you are.

Take care of yourself. Your children need you. Pray - God has given me strength when I thought I was played out.

Appreciate all the support. I am just trying to focus on breathing and taking care of my children. Trying to be strong. I have a Church, but everyone ask where's Rene or some similar comment. They mean well, but it is all so painful. So, many memories.