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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 245
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 245 |
I know it is different for everyone, but, When does one know when counseling is apexed? I am thinking of cutting back a bit from 2 times monthly to ?.
We are working on our communication issues. and seem to be doing ok lately. I don't want to quit to early, but, I know the W would like to stop, It is my choice, And I find myself wondering if it is for us, or if it is for me. I remember reading that about 6 sessions is the time frame. We have been going twice a month for about 5 months.
Just curious on people's thoughts.
ME 40
WW 40
Married 14y
EA 2mos
PA 1(12/20)
D-day 12/22/04
recovering?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715 |
My wife and I went every two weeks for about 4 months...then kicked it back to once a month, and have been doing that ever since. It's been a year, and we still go about once a month.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568 |
I don't think it's one of those hard/fast rules where you can compare yourself to anybody else...
Do you feel like the sessions are productive? Why does your W want to stop going? Are the same issues just getting rehashed or is progress being made? Would IC make more sense than MC for where you're at?
Are the issues that you originallyo went to MC for addressed in a way that you feel comfortable with?
And don't forget to ask your MC, what they think. Maybe once a month or IC would be a better choice and they just haven't brought it up...
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 245
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 245 |
I have been doing both MC and IC. Ic about once a month, MC 2. Have all issues been dealt with, Not sure. IMO, W went because it was a condition I set as part of staying together. She has been supportive of it, but, in general, she does not like doctors or dentists or anything like this, never has. (just like her dad)
She has picked and chosen what she read. but has been reading appropriate books.
Sf is going alot better than before, mostly my issues I believe. A is not talked about much anymore, mostly communication and relationship stuff.
I know it is about how I feel, I was just curious about length of other people's timeline.
ME 40
WW 40
Married 14y
EA 2mos
PA 1(12/20)
D-day 12/22/04
recovering?
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568 |
Well, in my case, I went to IC for a year or so sometimes 2x/week, for MC, we went off and on for what, 5 years? For us, was a waste of time...
That's why I say it's pretty personal, and be careful measuring yourself by any other yardstick.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 245
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 245 |
I do not intend to gauge myself by others. W just made a comment this morning that got me to thinking. I don't have a plan intact as far as goals by a certain time, just playing it by ear. But, curious none the less. I quess that when I feel that nothing new is happening, that is when I stop. It has not been a waste of time for us, although, some days seem just to rehash some stuff. but overall it has been great.
Thanks for you input.
ME 40
WW 40
Married 14y
EA 2mos
PA 1(12/20)
D-day 12/22/04
recovering?
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