For the past two or three days, my
husband and I have been talking for
hours.

I've told him that for the past 4-5
years that I've been so unhappy and
that I am not in love.

I told him also that he has hurt
me more than he can imagine.

Long story short, he is begging me
to not let him lose me. He will sweep
me off my feet again, he said.

Should I give him yet another chance?

All I know is that I am miserable with
him.

Could things possibly change even though
I dont really have feelings for him and
am not sure if they will come back??

Thanks

Actions speak louder than words... And multi-hour relational talks are just that, talk.

Have you guys both read the MB material? Agreed to put it into practice? WOrking on making deposits in the lovebank? Stopped the lovebusters?

Those are *actions* that will make your marriage have a much greater chance of succeeding, and helping you restore love in your marriage.

Talk is cheap.

I'd encourage you to take this over to the EN forum as it's not quite as topical here.

Don't know your situation, but this question implies multiple affairs. If that is true, the question would be about his "repentance." "Fear of losing you" is NOT repentance, it is more selfishness. But, if you were not referring to multiple affairs, then what was the point of the question so that we might better understand your situation?



The short answer is YES, the "Feelings" can come back, but not until YOU choose to act "as if" you already had them and act in a loving way.

You post here because, I assume, you consider yourself a Christian. While I don't know if your husband is also, I would ask YOU....what is more important, your "feelings" or your humble obedience of God's commands?

If you let your "feelings" be your guide, you are headed for a lifetime of pain and misery.

God bless.

dreamingdreams - I went back, after posting the preceeding response to you, and read through some of your previous postings. It would appear that adultery is not the problem, but physical and emotional abuse has been the issue.

So, is your husband a Christian?

You asked in one of your posts "how can you love him again," or words to that affect. I'm going to be blunt, so if it hurts a bit, I'm sorry.

The answer to your question is "you can't," UNLESS he does a permanent change in his life and SURRENDERS his life to Christ. His abusive tactics were all self-serving and self-centered. Until he "gets off the throne" where he thinks "he" is "in control" and can do whatever he feels like doing, he is NOT being a husband according to God's standards.

Bottom line, physical abuse gets NO MORE CHANCES. That IS a form of "marital unfaithfulness," and is, in my humble opinion, grounds for divorce per Jesus' often quoted "exception" for "grounds for a divorce."

So, the "ball" is in your husband's "court" to EARN back your trust (you don't trust him) and your love (you probably do still love the guy you thought you married but not the guy that you wound up living with).

God bless.