Hi All!
It has been several months since my confrontation with DH about OW, but I need some feedback and maybe some confirmation that I am not making a mountain out of a molehill.
When asking him some point blank questions like "how do you really feel about her"? He asnwered me with "Oh I don't know, I guess I feel I need to protect her". I said "From what"? He said "Well, there are alot of guys in our league that hit on her week after week, I finally told this one guy to leave her alone she is a married woman!" My response to that was "I think she's a big girl now and she can probably take care of herself."
Other thing he divulged on D Day of confrontation: he asked me why I was so distant and I said " I don't like the fact that I think my husband likes someone else besides me". (honest feelings) His response was incredible. He started yelling "Oh no!" over and over and then started crying hysterically saying "I didn't want this to happen" over and over and then "I don't want to loose you!" over and over. But-----when I gave him time to calm down and asked him what he meant by all that he said "I didn't want you to THINK that there was anything going on---that's what I didn't want to happen." WHY IS IT THAT I JUST CANNOT BUY THAT? I shake all over just thinking about it!
There just have been too many things that he said even prior to that over the course of a couple of years like-
when going to a party about 8 mo ago given by suspected OW and her H he was afraid to face him, nervous about him. Asked him WHY and he said maybe because she is out too late on league night and he would blame my suspected WH. And the time that he told me how strange it was that a league member (female) that we both know came up to him in the lounge and said "(name) you need to go home to your wife!" And also the time that he told me another league member (female) that is a mutual friend was completely ignoring him not even saying "hello" and the only reason he could figure out was that maybe she had seen he and supposed OW in the lounge together and thought they had a "thing" going on. Over the course of the next few weeks he claimed up and down that he and suspected OW were just friends, no attraction, no affair, not even close. Called me an irrational Jealouse B---- that needs some psychiatric help. Unreasonable that I don't understand friendship between 2 people of the opposite sex, and I WAS NOT going to control who he was friends with and who he wasn't.
Since I have been back from my month long hiatus from him he wants to start with a clean slate with us and let everything from the past die. Problem is I don't feel the same way and am still looking for conclusive proof. He is doing his best to shower me with his attention and love and I am trying to give him what he needs emotionally (plan A?)
but I feel as if we are putting on this fasad, (sp?) maybe because I have so many unresolved issues. And I am digging as deep as I can to find out the truth. I know that he will deny it till the cows come home, but I have nothing concrete to go on either. Maybe I should suggest MC?
Still working it thru day by day.
Blessings
