I am leaveing MB, it consumes to much of my time and I have come to realize it is more of a habit in a soap opera kind of way than anything else (not that there isn't tremendous value in what is essentially a group therapy enviroment...it is simply that I have benefited as much as one can, and did my part in paying my dues back, staying any longer is interfereing with real life).
I do find value in promting healthy behavioral principles, but if I want to continue to do so, would be better served in a blog, or website enviroment, or even writing about these matters. I debated whether should even mention leaveing, why do so, no obligation really. But I decided it is a courtesy, is mildly disconcerting when people just vanish, when so easy to make mention of the fact, I am basically a polite person, so there it is.
We don't have a marital problem so much as a dating problem in mating..people don't do their homework, apply principles, and to often make poor, and avoidable marital errors. The internet has done a great job of providing much opportunity to unravel all this dating/mating stuff, so we can get it right. This board is a good addition to MB. The downside is "boards" gets a little addictive, get wrapped up in others drama, or various personality conflicts, and the time spent (often repetitively) in those matters better spent in real life. I do have a personal interest in advocateing or writing about relationships, but will do so in a blog or some other more stuctured enviroment where the focus stays on the subject, and not so much personalities (or personal styles). May be some time (if ever) I do so...but anyone interested can let me know at
matingblog@yahoo.com, and I will apprise them if such happens.
For what it's worth, IMO cannot do better than Dr Clouds and Dr. Townsends books about dating and relationship building.
Cannot really do better than MB principles for maintaining and deepening relationships (but only works with healthy people). Harley's work is really landmark stuff, and right on the money in a nuts and bolts sense.
Many books on personality disorders, and how to recognize dysfunctional (meaning unable to have safe relationships with), good to apply this stuff.
Dr Mcgraw has his issues, and not a big fan of some of his "biz", but his self-matters books are good stuff for unraveling ourselves, and why we do what we do, and good techniques for changing things...it all starts with ourselves, if we are unhealthy, so will all our relationships be, and how we select as well.
Crazy Time by abigail trafford is a very readable (and understandable) treatsie on marital dynamics.
We are blessed with a plethora of self-help info these days, relationship psychology is very well understood and documented (and plenty of on-line communities to hash it out with others in as well), there really is no excuse any more for making unwise choices....no gaurantees of course, sooner or later have to make the leap, and take the risk...but we can greatly improve the odds. It is depressing somewhat when equipped with this knowledge and looking around you at "singles" how few of them are worthy to consider, but diligence will pay off, or at least you won't jump into a bad situation. I happen to believe God is a very big assest too in this process...not so easy to apply perhaps, but prayers for discernment and strength to resist temptation will be heard I believe, and answered...just don't wait for God to fedEx you the one, you have to do the work.
Will finish the thread rb quizzed me on, but going out of town this weekend for few weeks, and won't return here. Good luck, and "happy Hunting" to all.
