I couldn't do it anymore.

I let her trample on me until I couldn't take anymore. Even in my humbleness, she continued to rip me with cheap shots and unneccesary comments all while defending everything that she had done wrong in the marriage saying that it was all my fault; saying sleeping at an OM's house in his bed wasn't a big deal; saying that I had no right to look through her e-mails after she did this; saying that her e-mailing OM behind my back wasn't wrong. The pain and the anger came to a headway this morning on the phone - I'm done. I don't even want this woman in my life ever again. I loved her with everything I had. I would have died for her; all it took was a month of absolute cruelty on her part; telling me things like "I would have rather been dead than with you" - "This is all your fault" - "Computer this, computer that" - unneccesary rips on me, etc. etc. I'm through.

I finally got so hurt and so incredibly angry that I let it all out on the phone; all of it. Told her that I was absolutely FED UP with her acting like it was all my fault; told her that no matter how she sliced it she was a QUITTER. She is GIVING UP ON US; I have TRIED MY HARDEST TO STICK WITH THIS - but I will NOT take anymore pain over this anymore. She had the nerve on the phone to ********* tell me "I don't care what you want anymore" - "This is about ME".

I had it; told her that she was quitting and that she just feels guilty because she KNOWS she is quitting - she tried saying "No, I have tried" and I simply said - "[censored] you've tried - we've been married for a year and a half - you made a vow FOR LIFE. These problems have been around for less than a year; you haven't tried - you ARE A QUITTER." and I hung up.

I'm sorry, but no more. I won't stand by this bull anymore - I won't feed her cake; I won't be trampled on. I don't want to be with this woman ever again - I don't even want to see or hear from her. Pretty sad too, I would have liked to have salvaged a friendship with her - but trampling on me wasn't enough - she had to dig my heart out with her bear hands too.

I'll stick around here in order to cope with things, I don't really think there will be anymore mourning - the last week I have spent out late with friends. I'm focusing on myself now, its time to go enjoy life again - someday I'll find a WOMAN to marry and not some GIRL. Yeah okay, I messed up in our marriage; but I never backed down from our problems. She told me one too many times that she "Wanted a divorce". She wants it; she's getting it - I hope she enjoys getting used and abused again by the same scumbags she got with before, I'm going to school to make something of myself.

Yes, I'm extremely upset; and I'm VERY bitter about what she has done to my feelings for her and us in the end of this marriage; all I did was be there for her and show her I was trying to help and all she did in return was spit on me.

Good riddance.

I'm sorry, Fox. :-(

Fox,
this is probably what needed to happen. As much as it hurts, I think you will be a better man for it. Remember, transformation through trouble. Let go and let God. I am sorry you had to go through this. You are very young. Very bright. And you are developing a fortitude that I admire. Honor yourself and above all honor God with your actions throughout this process and you will be just fine. I know it hurts. Believe me, I know ALL too well how it hurts. But this too shall pass. I will keep you in my prayers.

Fox:

My friend, you are dying a thousand deaths here. I think it is time to "back off" and let the situation cool off. Your impatience with this process is NORMAL. You are a wise young man, but still a young man nonetheless.

Walk away from this situation from your Wayward for the time being. I know that the Harley "rules" say 6 months of this plan and then 2 years of this plan, and then 15 days of this plan, or whatever, but MY PLAN, would be to walk away and re-think the situation.

You are killing yourself here. I am not saying divorce, but you beter do something to get yourself emotionally away from the situation. I don't know if you have done enough of what some call a "good plan A", but even if the time limit is not up, you best do a PLan B (or whatver they call it..lol).

You are acting helpless here, and you are far from that. You are a young man, in college with a whole life ahead of you.......NOONE says that you have to stay married to this woman. NOONE. You can walk away from this situation with a clear conscience. There is nothing "noble" about allowing yourself to die a thousand deaths becasue of this.

Truthfuly, I think your WW is a young, immature girl who needs to grow up and start acting like a married woman. I have very real concerns and doubts about your future with her. She may not be ready to do act like a married woman now, or ever....at least with you. You can't do "nutthin" about that....I don't think you have realized this yet because you are still so driven and affected be her ACTIONS..that is ok, we have ALL been there (some of us longer than others).

Why don't you back away from the situation. DO a HARD CORE PLAN B (with or without the letter-if you plan to divorce) and heal yourself. Get away from this insanity. Put the divorce onus on her and let her do the work.

Sour....

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This is my opinion and my opinion only, and those views held by me are NOT necessarily the views held by this message boards creator ar any of it's subsidiaries. Thank YOu.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So - I finally get the balls to stand up for myself; take the control away from my WW and tell her IM DONE. Guess how long it takes her to email me? Like 10 seconds! Funny...she wasn't too busy this time. Where has she been all month?
The email is hilariously stupid too - reach further woman, you ain't pulling any rabbit out of the hat this time; you've got NOTHING. Let's assess this steaming pile of crap with parenthesis and point out all the lies and excuses; and the BLAME POINTING. Everything from here on our that I am thinking in response to her email will be bolded. Everything else will be here email.

-----------------------------------------------

listen, I am sorry that I hung up on you, (oh..she is? yeah im sorry I HUNG UP ON HER. Funny how she classifies me yelling at her and saying "GOODBYE" and hanging up the phone as her hanging up on me.)

...but I am stressed and the last thing I need is you yelling at me for [censored]. (Oh...? She has yelled at me everytime we've talked on the phone or in person when I've been calm? OH LOL! YEAH THATS RIGHT SHE HAS!)

...You have your opinions, and that is fine, (Oh, funny - I never had opinions before...and when I did, they were WRONG.)

....but I am not here to get in a fighting match with you. (Oh really? Funny - all of the fighting over the last month has been instigated by who? OH YEAH...HER!)

.....If you want to talk about things, then fine. (Hmm, I've wanted to talk about things for the last month; she hasn't.)

We will TALK...not yell, not scream, TALK.... (Please, hypocrisy...MORE OF IT. Don't even make me get out the examples.)

I know that you are not happy about this, and you can take the Shane thing out on me as much as you want (because Lord knows you don't know how to let me live anything down anyways)<------------------ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah....I'm just going to magically forget about her spending the night in an OM's bed overnight. And you know - I have no reason to bring it up when she tells me she hasn't done ANYTHING WRONG...YEAP!


......but just remember that was only one thing, (Really? Then what was, lets see...the physical abuse, the name calling, the lying, the emotional affairs, the changing of passwords, the wearing of provactive clothing, the refusal to delete ex's phone numbers, I could go on forever.) and you've done at least that much to me too, I count two things. Spending too much time on the computer and not helping out as much as I could have around the house. so if you are trying to make me feel guilty, it's not going to work. (Awww, so sad...too bad she's already guilty...otherwise she wouldn't be writing this e-mail; needs to put just a tad more blame on me so that she can feel better about herself; well sorry sister, but you ain't going to see me cry and take the blame anymore. Live with the guilt, I hope you enjoy it like I have for the last month.)

I stayed true to you 100% whether you want to believe it or not. I needed to get away from the situation at hand and the only place that was offered to me was Shane's. (Funny, I offered to go to Shanes instead - but she said that SHE NEEDED TO GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT SHAN....I also asked her to go take a walk; I told her I would leave and she could have the place to herself for the night...nope. Won't work today. Don't even tell me you weren't offered anywhere.)


If you remember right, I asked Chris if I could stay with him first, (No, you TOLD him you had no place to go and he TOLD YOU he couldnt let you come to his place. You never asked him [censored]. And you KNEW he wouldnt be able to let you come.)

so it's not like I was sneaking off to see Shane. (Oh really? Just like she didn't sneak off to be with him for the next week and a half after that? The times when she forced me to stay home and went to his house until midnight? Yeah...okay! Just like you weren't SNEAKING emails behind my back with him; and conversations. Yep - no sneaking at all!)

But you are going to believe whatever you want to believe and I cannot make you think otherwise. (I'll believe what I've seen - and that is an unfaithful wife. No matter how you cut the cake.)

Aaron, you and I both knew that this marriage wasn't going to work. (Nah, you didn't WANT IT TO WORK - and you did everything in your power to make sure it didn't work.)

I wasn't trying to lead you on, and I was trying to keep out hope that something would work because divorce is a big decision to make. (LOLOLO! Thats why you want to divorce after a year and a half of marriage when you made vows for LIFE. That's why you told me to go meet other girls? That's why you told me you wanted to meet other men? Yeah, big decision indeed. I'm sure it was just as big as telling OM you wanted to move in with him; or giving up on college and the rest of your life with no hesistation.)

but I truly believe that it is over between us. (OH! YOU MEAN YOU JUST REALIZED THIS? LOLOLOLOL! Funny - you've been saying this for MONTHS.)

I mean, we can't even hold a civil conversation....what good is that to either one of us? (Funny, I'd love to ask you the same question; make a [censored] choice and then maybe we can have a conversation. Yeah its hard to hold a civil conversation when you spend the entire time making unneeded comments and low blow jokes about problems I had in the past.)

If you want to talk to me again, you can call me Saturday morning. I had my mom call you back at the Irizarry's (Oh....funny - I thought you hung up on me? Why would you want to call me back...oh yeah - because I hung up on YOU.)

because I can't call out, and I found out you weren't there, so I don't know where you are or how to reach you. (Oh know...cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it.)

So, that is going to be your call. I'm sorry that this isn't what you want, Aaron, (Funny, I thought it was what we "both" wanted according to you.)

but in the long run I will be doing you a favor. (Yes, yes you will. Thank you for making me realize before I wasted anymore time on you that you are a two timing QUITTER that took all of the promises you made with me and for your future family away like you were playing a game of marbles. Now I can go find a real woman who knows what marriage actually means.)

I am not your soulmate...[censored], I don't even think you like me, (Yeah...I'm sorry you made me hate you in the end. Should have stopped and thought about what you were doing. While you were doing it. Should have swallowed your pride like I did months ago and admitted that you messed up jsut as bad as I did in the relationship.

so at least this gives you a chance to make something of yourself (LOL...Sorry to bust your ego 'princess'; but I don't need YOU to make something of myself.)

and I don't think that was something I could really offer you. (Appearantly not. It doesn't look like its something you can offer yourself at this point either.)

I really don't want to talk about this over e-mail, but I am rather hesitant to talk to you over the phone after what I just heard. (And what is that? All the pain you've caused me bursting out and smashing you broadside across the face? Feels good to see how much hurt you can cause someone doesn't it? Especially when they finally have the guts to TELL YOU.)

You are not a very forgiving person, Aaron, (LOLOLOLLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)

Yeah I'm not very forgiving - that's why I didn't leave her after she physically BEAT ME UNTIL I BLED and then CALLED THE POLICE ON ME. Funny - I didn't leave her after the police came within seconds from arresting ME when I was bloodied and crying in humiliation - knowing I was about to get arrested for getting the [censored] KICKED OUT OF ME while I stood and did nothing to prevent it. Funny, I didn't leave after my CAREER IN POLICING which was what I was goin to school for at the time was RUINED because YOU called the police on ME after I got the [censored] beat out of me and did NOTHING to you. I guess I'm not forgiving.

I guess I'm not forgiving after having my wife, knowing I am on the verge of KILLING MYSELF, KNOWING that she KNOWS I think she is sleeping with the OM, SEEING that I am crying my heart out, am screaming in AGONY on our FLOOR; BEGGING HER NOT TO LEAVE. Funny - she goes ANYWAYS - even though there are OTHER OPTIONS; and instead of merely going and coming back; she stays from 4am till 4pm the next day. THEN on top of this; KNOWING THAT I HAVE SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT AWAKE IN AGONY CRYING and CONTEMPLATING A PA IN MY HEAD FOR HOURS; my W comes home and proceeds to tell me that she no longer loves me; or that she ever loved me - FOR THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT SHE TELLS ME THIS. So, out of RESPECT for her, I tell her she can have the apartment and I will find a place to stay - yet she BEGS ME TO SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS HER AT NIGHT AFTER IGNORING ME DAY IN AND DAY OUT; AND TELLING ME SHE DOESNT LOVE ME? I tell her I need to adjust and get used to not having her in my life and she STILL TELLS ME TO COME SLEEP WITH HER BECAUSE SHE IS LONELY!?!?!?!?!??! ARE YOU JOKING ME!?

And I STILL STAYED.

I stayed after all of that - I stayed after finding more secret emails. I stayed after she changed her email address and passwords; I stayed after reading in her exact words that she had feelings for another man for over a year during our marriage; I could go on for hours.

Let's see - I got an STD from my W after she told me that she was clean; knowing she hadn't gotten checked for STDs; even after I asked her "are you 100% sure?" all I get is "yeah, i know im clean" and a nice case of HPV to go along with it. Maybe even more - I haven't been tested; for all I know I have HIV.

But...I still stayed.

But remember...I'm not forgiving guys....LOL!!!

and you let the things I have done get in the way. (I did? Last time I checked, you wanted the divorce for how long? You have wanted to file for how long? You have run off and distanced yourself from us for how long?)

If you can't get over something like that, there's no way we will be able to work things out. (How can I get over something when you don't give me a chance to? Mrs. I hate you and I want a divorce; Mrs. there is nothing you could ever do to make me love you again"? Oh and...how do we work something out that you already are dead set on ending??)

You need more counseling to get over your insecurities and learn to trust people. (Oh I do? Sorry, but all the counseling in the world won't make me trust someone after they sleep in an OM's bed, after they lie to me about past sex partners, after they lie to me for a year about wanting to be with another man; after they get caught in even more lies....? Yeah, I guess I need counseling so I can trust people like that LOLOLOOLLOOLOL!!! Sorry - but counseling won't help YOU regain the trust YOU THREW AWAY WHEN YOU MADE DUMB DECISIONS....if you want trust, earn it instead of running away and throwing away more trust in the process.)

I was talking to Brian a month ago, and I haven't talked to him since. (Oh okay - did he just disappear off the face of the Earth after you magically were getting ready to have dinner with him and were "So excited" and you changed your email passwords...alright Shan!)

But, it shouldn't matter whether or not I talk to my guy friends. (LOL! OH OKAY! So it doesn't matter that a man's wife talks to men she has slept with and openly admits feelings for? Yeah - I guess I'm wrong aren't I guys! It shouldn't matter!!! Of course not! Especially when my W changes her email passwords and accounts so she can talk to them behind my back as well!! Yeah, it doesn't matter!!)

If you were to stay with me, that is one thing you'd have to learn is that I have guy friends and I am going to talk to them. If I was going to stay with YOU? Wait...so you want me to stay with you? I have a choice now? What happened to you being DEAD SET ON DIVORCE? (That's all good - talk to them; but don't hide [censored] from me. Oh wait - you can't do that can you? You also can't hang out with them with me with you? You always have to be alone - like hot tubbing at 1 in the morning at OM's house too? You can't talk to OM without having them call you when I am around; or emailing you at an account I know abotu or have access to? What is there to hide if theyre just friends?? Yeah - you're right...I should just accept that! Especially after all of this has happened. I guess I'm wrong!! LOLOLOLOLOL!)

Regardless of my past with Brian, we are only friends. (Regardless of your past? Let's see - you slept with him when you were 17 and he was 26 - which is illegal; he TRICKED YOU INTO DOING IT by making a bet with you which HE KNEW you couldn't win. Yeah, I want a rapist around my W. Oh wait - you had a past with him? Well that enough is grounds to say goodbye; you're married - he goes bye bye. Especially when you openly admit feelings for him still. Don't give me this "we're only friends crap" when I've read in your EXACT WORDS OTHERWISE - HEY! LET ME QUOTE YOU! You seem to have a foggy memory, so let me REFRESH YOU! Now remember when you read this - YOU GUYS ARE JUST FRIENDS! RIGHT?:

Shannon says: "That, and I have been thinking more and more about my friend, and I really like him (as he does me) and I feel the more time I spend here, the less of a chance I have with him, especially since he's 29. He's going to be looking elsewhere and I feel like I am screwing it up. He's already been waiting at least a year for me, if not longer. I told him last summer that I was leaving DH (which I was going to) and he told me he would stay if I did. He stayed...I didn't. So, I don't even know if he is still around or not and I am kicking myself in the butt for it. I just don't want to screw up my chances because he is a wonderful guy...the kind of guy I would love to end up with."

Shannon also says: "And, I haven't really spoken of this to anyone, but I know that I can trust you... But there is this guy that has been smitten on me for 4 years, and I have been the same with him. We have been friends over the years and I have always felt that I could tell him anything, you know? Regardless, he knows that there have been problems in my marriage, and at one point last summer I was going to leave my DH, and he (my friend) was going to sell his place and move... he told me that if I left my DH, that he would not sell his place and move and that he would stay behind so we could be together. I've never been unfaithful in my marriage with him or with anybody else, but I know that I have the same feelings about my friend as he does about me...and let me tell you, my friend is a total gentleman. He's the kind of guy you bring home to your parents, ya know? And he is really serious about commitment... he's 9 years older than me, so he's ready for the next step...marriage and family. I just keep feeling that if I don't do something and get out of this crappy situation I am in...I will never know. But one thing I do know, is that my DH is never going to change and I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this..."

Yeah Shan! Rock on! This guy is a REAL gentleman! That's why he raped you in high school; that's why he's trying to [censored] a married woman! That's also why after the first time you were together he ditched you on your [censored]; and all of your friends' first words out of their mouth when they hear his name is [censored]? Well, I'm glad he's a family man; you know...thats why he works in a gas station at 29 - thats why he goes after high schoolers...and tries to get married women to cheat. You know, I'm beginning to think you and this guy were a match made in heaven!

I am not moving in with him, I don't even like him, (LOL.Oh you don't!?!?!) and I know what I said, but I plead temporary insanity. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH......you WHAT? LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Oh...you mean...now out of nowhere; what you did was wrong? But its still not your fault! You were INSANE? Oh okay - remember me never to make you be responsible for ANY of your actions EVER again.) I just needed to get away from you and from Pullman because it was all dragging me down. I said a lot of things I didn't mean. (Funny - thats why you continued to say them after you were home? And then you changed all your passwords around the same time he magically stopped contacting you?)[b/] We are all guilty of that. Listen, if you get this and you want to call me back sometime before noon or anytime between 3-6pm, I will be here. [b](Hurray for you...I want to call you why? I seem to remember hanging up on you because I was sick of listening to you.)

I have some errands I have to run, so I will be out for a while. I do want to talk, but I don't want it to be a screaming match between us. I am sorry Aaron, whether you choose to see it that way or not. You and I are two very different people and we just couldn't see eye to eye. (No, you're a quitter who runs away from her problems. But you can use that excuse some more if you'd like to.)

We were too young....OH OKAY! I we WERE too young? In other words we are convieniently over now - yet earlier in the email; it was "if things are going to work" and if we would have not been married we could have come to the same realization that we are not made for each other and saved ourselves a lot of trouble. (Oh we would have? lol....alright!) Call me if you want, because I don't know where you are or how to get a hold of you, so the ball is in your court. (Oohh....I bet it hurt to say that. You mean...control is in MY hands now? OH MY GOD SHE GAVE ME CONTROL WITHOUT MAKING AN EXCUSE?!?!?!?!?) WTF!?!??!!?!? ......

I will talk to you soon, (Oh...you will? You'll talk to me soon? lol....no, no you won't - but thanks for assuming.)[b]
Shannon


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[b]What a joke - what a girl. Someone needs to give Shannon a lesson in marriage 101, and then, after that; please make her go through puberty; because she is sure acting like she hasn't. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Fox:

Why are you engaging in this pettiness. The email should be promprtly DELETED and NOT RESPONDED to. If you respond with a clever comback or any of that you are just escalating the Bull$hit,,,and in my eyes are equally guiltry for continuing your pain and struggles.

Remove yourslef from the insanity.

You still haven't learned.

This post of yours is a carbon caop of what you did last week...WHERE AND WHAT DID THAT GET YOU? Are you happy with THOSE results?

Sour......

I am standing up for MYSELF. I dont WANT TO BE WITH THIS WOMAN. You said yourself that there is nothing wrong with that - so there is NOTHING wrong with me pointing out this HORSE [censored]. It's time for her to realize how much pain she's caused, maybe then she can come out of this fog and actually act like a person again. Not like it matters; I'm done.

And my email last week was BASED ON ADVICE GIVEN TO ME FROM PEOPLE ON THIS BOARD - I MERELY FOLLOWED IT THINKING IT WAS WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. So don't come out here telling me I'm at fault over last week's email when I THOUGHT that it was HELPING.

Aaron,
the key is recognizing her babble for what it is. No response to her is necessary. Remove yourself from her chaos. Let it be hers and hers alone. You have to take care of yourself and you wont be doing that by remaining a part of what she is doing.

There's a difference between this week's e-mail and last weeks. This week I DONT CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS MARRIAGE - it is THROUGH; I'm DONE. Last week I wanted to save things - last week was a mistake. This ISNT.

Well then I simply won't respond to her email. Either way I'm done with this.

Fox,

I haven't responded on any of your threads before, because the advice that I would have been tempted to offer up would not have been along the MB lines.

In light of this new stuff, I feel comfortable telling you now.

I do not think that you should waste one more minute with this girl. It is obvious that she was not ready for marriage in any shape, form, or fashion. It's evident that she has a tremendous amount of maturing to do.

I have felt that from the start. She was still in the dating mentality....given her age that would be normal.

She jumped into marriage with you before she was emotionally mature enough to handle it. I can imagine that she thought it was playing house and when she got bored with it, she would go back to being a little girl.

Cut your losses now, while you are still young and unemcumbered by things that would make a split even more difficult. Learn from this...don't let it taint you for future relationships...just let him make you more knowledgable about girls...and what they will be one day, women.

JMHO
committed

Fox,

Somewhere in one of Dr H’s articles on MB, or maybe it's in one of his books, he says that a young BS in a short marriage with no children is probably better off cutting their losses and calling it quits.

If I could get the search function to work I’d find it and bookmark it for you.

IMO, if you stay with this woman you are going to go through this again, probably more than once.

Cut your losses, Fox. You are worth more than this phoney marriage. Finish school and work for a good, joy filled life and wait a few years, yes years, before you get involved with anyone new.

Fox,

You are spending wwwaaaaaayyyyy too much energy and time replying to her email.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

It's kind of spooky, like the rantings of a damaged and heartsick betrayed husband....OH Yeah, I guess that IS you.

k

If he was going to respond which I don't encourage, I would probably just take these two things and use that as the response.

Shannon says: "That, and I have been thinking more and more about my friend, and I really like him (as he does me) and I feel the more time I spend here, the less of a chance I have with him, especially since he's 29. He's going to be looking elsewhere and I feel like I am screwing it up. He's already been waiting at least a year for me, if not longer. I told him last summer that I was leaving DH (which I was going to) and he told me he would stay if I did. He stayed...I didn't. So, I don't even know if he is still around or not and I am kicking myself in the butt for it. I just don't want to screw up my chances because he is a wonderful guy...the kind of guy I would love to end up with."

Shannon also says: "And, I haven't really spoken of this to anyone, but I know that I can trust you... But there is this guy that has been smitten on me for 4 years, and I have been the same with him. We have been friends over the years and I have always felt that I could tell him anything, you know? Regardless, he knows that there have been problems in my marriage, and at one point last summer I was going to leave my DH, and he (my friend) was going to sell his place and move... he told me that if I left my DH, that he would not sell his place and move and that he would stay behind so we could be together. I've never been unfaithful in my marriage with him or with anybody else, but I know that I have the same feelings about my friend as he does about me...and let me tell you, my friend is a total gentleman. He's the kind of guy you bring home to your parents, ya know? And he is really serious about commitment... he's 9 years older than me, so he's ready for the next step...marriage and family. I just keep feeling that if I don't do something and get out of this crappy situation I am in...I will never know. But one thing I do know, is that my DH is never going to change and I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this..."

I would just use those as his response but I wouldn't respond to her email.

Listen I the same thing happened with my son. The girl not woman was more interested in the idea of having a wedding. After one year he found out she was cheating it took a year for their D. Right after it was final she remarried and is now e-mailing my son looking for another guy to cheat with. She was to young and had NO MORALS. SO I will tell you what I told my son -dump her a$$. Get on with your life -you are young and a whole lot wiser now. Take your time and you will find someone who is worthy of you and your heart. My son has found alot of young girls cheat it takes a mature woman to commit. Your smart and young -you have a whole life ahead. Go ahead go to college make something of yoruself but just for you. Good luck. Take care we all care and feel your pain. I hate to see someone so young in so much pain. Are you close to your parents?? Go to them or siblings.

Realtor - unfortunately I am not;

My mother is a heroin addict and I have met my father once; it was over 10 years ago. My siblings are all half siblings from my father - I knew none of them until recently; however, I wish I hadn't have met at least one of them - this much I know.

I am the closest thing to "normal" my family has to offer.

-The more I think about my W, the more I'm glad I'm done with this. I hung on to hope way too long - I should have noticed these things long ago; she is incredibly immature and was, as I can see now, more in love with the fact that someone actually loved her than with the idea of marriage. Thank God in heaven she didn't get pregnant huh? I honestly believe that to be God's working.