I have not had time to read all the posts…on my basically one and only thread…I’ll get to that tomorrow…the specifics etc…but I did want to write a few words to all who chose to read this…concerning feelings that I am now or have been duping people,…posting fiction or being in any way dishonest about what is going on in my life,…The things that I’ve been describing, or about where I live and who I am are all real and are all happening…take my word or don’t take my word…of course it saddens me to be suspected of something like this but be that as it may…

First, in that it seems to be a matter of concern, I indeed have a profile and E-mail address as **edit**�a fact by the way I’ve certainly never tried to hide from anybody for any reason. It’s the E-mail address listed on my profile here MB. It’s always been available to anybody who wanted to use it…

I’ve never felt the need to hide from any one…especially here…In fact there are those at MB who have on occasion posted to me to not only ICQ E-mail but to my office E-mail at the Tribune Company…though I don’t encourage the use of the Tribune address in that it’s a business E-mail provided by my company for business and they don’t like our system to be used for personal reasons.

My ICQ address is little used…it’s one that I used to share with my wife. In fact she wrote my profile and posted my picture or pictures…I’m not sure if there are ore then one. I always kind of liked the profile she wrote for me…although I never use ICQ and know very little about it. When I have to check my mail I get strange signals and sounds from the IM system and I never know how to respond. So I basically only open it once in a while...to check mail. I also have IM with MS and don’t work that unless I have a specific reason to use it with some one.

As for my hobbies…it seems that folks are upset about the fact that I write erotica on the internet. While it’s not something I discuss with every one it’s also not something I’m ashamed of. My wife and I write together…she is the real writer…I am just a business writer but working to be better. The stuff we write is not pornography. It is more about romantic encounters and takes the form of short stories. While we describe graphic love scenes, we don’t use classic 4 letter words…I reserve the use of that kind of language for business, thank you very much.

And no I will not give up our pen name but the site we post to is a news group; one of the Usenet alt. sites that are moderated. It’s free and it’s fun and if it offends any one I frankly don’t give a damn. We write together for fun and because it’s something that we do together; and yes we keep it private. We don’t choose to share this with people that we know and who know us…to be honest…its because most people are not mature enough to simply leave it alone…they always want to make more of it then what it really is…just a hobby.

As for my profile on ICQ, I re-read it and thought it was pretty nifty…and since it was my wife that wrote it and posted it…and since she uses ICQ and I don’t…I suppose she enjoys it…I never received a funky E-mail from any weird strangers so I guess it can’t be to harmful. And yes by the way, I do like to have my body rubbed…although I don’t know why she needed to share that with the whole world.

Another disclosures that you folks might find interesting. Four years ago I took a 2 year part time course at a local school down here (no not Harvard and that’s for sure) in a thing called “Life Counseling.” It’s something I do in association with my local Synagogue. For me it’s something I feel good doing it and that’s all. It was after I started council ling, that I came back to MB…over 4 years ago now.

If any one has any private questions for me or feels they want to some how find out something more about me or my life…feel free to e-mail me, **edit**. In fact, should some one feel the desire to chat, I will be glad to make a telephone number available as well. If anyone feels that I have been dishonest then e-mail me or ask for a phone number and let’s talk. I don’t want to use my ICQ mail because at this point there are things I don’t want to share with my wife…like E-mail from MB.

I hope this clears up some things. If not then all I can say is I’m sorry to have people being so suspicious of me…and thinking so badly of me. ..but that’s not something I have no control over…I just want any and all who read this to know that I have always offered advice with a full heart and good will. That I am experiencing problems in my life right now that folks tend to think is so strange as to be fiction…well all I can say is read some interviews with Carl Hiaasen (Spelling? I’m sorry). He writes for the Herald down here and is a novelist as well. His views on fact and fiction got him a spot on 60 minutes.

Fiction cannot sometimes compete with reality…and that’s the saddest truth of all.
Your friend, in spite of what you think.
Coach

Okay, I'll play. I trust you, Coach, because I want to trust you and believe you -- and ask your forgiveness for being so suspicious.

So how about the ICQ group, Unhappy Married People seeks More. Did your wife set this up as well? I also found you on ICQ when in the beginning you had written that you journal in a blog. I looked for your blog and found the ICQ sites. I did not out you because a. I am a BIG lurker, B. I thought you might be for real and would get exactly the reaction that you see today.
I am thinking that you do have real marital troubles. But I was thinking this past month, What is with this guy??? He joins Unhappy Married People seeks More.... a few years ago. So you are not as noble as you trump yourself up to be. If your story is true.... Are you better than WW posting to these groups? Or does it just piss you off that she would do it too?
http://www.icq.com/groups/group_details.php?gid=11990334 Edited to add, you can find coach on page 9 of full members list.

I tell you what could clear up just a few things.

How about posting a few wedding pictures ~ one of you with your wife in her black dress and hot pink shrug.

or the wedding party...etc.

Then we can go from there.

After all, if you are a man of your word, you must be anxious to prove it.

Susan

Okay, well, there still may be more than meets the eye going on. I prefer to give the benefit of the doubt. Even though I did that for my FWH more than I should was good for my own health with his main A.

I want to believe you are who you say and are sincere. It is hard to believe you'd be here for so long then start such an elaborate and cruel ruse.

Good idea, Susan.

regardless of if you are telling the truth or not, coach I really only have a few things I want to say.

What a crock of ****. A fair number of regulars and not so regulars posted on your other thread to belittle, insult or otherwise joke about you, your posts and your situation. I wonder what secret emails of predisposed guilt and scandalous prose are running around about me.

Frankly, I am bothered by the quickness with which the 'mob mentality' ran amuck about some situation that no one even bothered to ask you about, honestly, before around 12 pages of childishness.

People ranging from highly educated to not so appearantly tossed all that out the window and became internet private **** today. All pros... all of them. And at your expense. Maybe you deserved it.

Maybe you didn't.

Who knows... you couldn't get a word in edgewise with all that crap.

If your story is true, I'm really sorry that you had to endure that crap.

If your story is not true, I still wonder what the payoff was for the fine posters that followed cameo?? Junior High School nostalgia?

Anyway, now that I have made myself an enemy of everyone here... oh well. What I saw was childish and insulting. And even IF people think they have a right to be angry at you, why can't they just say that and be done with it.

You know at a wedding that elaborate, there were tons of pictures taken.

So, here is his opportunity.

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

P.S. Anyway my dear H. is saying from his recliner "I wanna see that shrug!" LOL

Okay, patriot. I will say I'm angry with coach. I posted on Idiotville (you ought to check it out sometime) 2 months ago that I thought coach's thread was a scam.

It amazed me because coach always gives out such good advice, but then seemed to get into this terrible situation.

The biting thing did it for me. I even asked folks on I'ville to give it a try. Jump on your spouse and bite them on the back, and see if blood is running over your face. Sadly, no one would try it.

O.K., Coach! Posting some wedding pics would be a good idea.

Also, why did your new son-in-law's parents' names change from "Donna and David" to "Donna and Larry"?

Well, I, for one, will concede Patriot's point. Whether Coach is "real" or not, I've deleted my posts on the other thread in the interest of fairness.

We've had fakers on here before, and I just assumed this was a guy who legged it out of town and we'd never hear from him again. It's not fun being hoodwinked -- most of us on here know that -- but that's no excuse for meanness.

I can be sharped tongued, and it's easier to say a word than retract it. And I'm too quick on the trigger...or keyboard...sometimes. I'd rather err on the side of kindness, if I have to err at all.

Interesting.

Well, coach, in spite of how I reacted on your other thread (patriot, I'll deal with you shortly), I still think you're "real", whatever that is.

Patriot:

I've read posts from coach for 3 years or so now with great interest. Even more lately because he revealed himself 2 have life coaching experience of some kind, and because he addressed my sitch so eloquently a number of times in a very helpful manner. His recent travails, in particular, were helpful 2 me precisely because I felt I DID understand them (hence my numerous one-liners prior 2 2ay).

...and it is precisely because I felt so much empathy with coach that I was so shocked at the "evidence" revealed 2day. And now coach's own admissions... ...and the ICQ "unhappy marrieds" NG.

At any rate, coach is human. He's not "done" anything substantially worse than many MBers here over the years I've been around, who still get treated with compassion in spite of their infractions. But I rightly or wrongly hung a lot of my hat on the things coach said 2 me, and so I'm still rather pissed off. Sorry if that offends. I 'spect I'll get over it.

By the way, I like my double decker poodle sausage sandwiches with mustard, onions, and vine-ripened tomatos... ...unless Jake is real, in which case I'll repsect his right not 2 be made in2 a meal and wish him well...

-ol' 2long

So Coach, what are the correct names of your son in law's parents? How long have you been married, 27 or 29 years? Which is it.... you have posted both.

Sorry, but you've tainted the well of credibility to the point of no return for me. There will always be those who take a sip of suspicious looking water but you know Coach, I'm not one of them. Good luck with your *life*. KB

Well, not sure what all the hoop-lah is all about.

Not really sure that I want to know.

I opened this thread, Coach, because virtually everything that I've read from you has been bang-on, solid advice. Of all the folk here on MB, you are top of the list of people to whom I'd go for advice.

So whatever. You could be a 650 pound transvestite living on the south pole for all I care. Your words are wise and your input is appreciated.

You rock.

dewt

Ps... if you ARE a 650lb transvestite... please DO NOT post your wedding pictures....

Welcome to the internet everyone. WYSIWYG.
100% potentially factual. 100% potentially bullsh*t.

Yikes Patriot, a little nastiness going on in this little post by you too, don't you think?

A bit of stone throwing of your own?

Coach, sometimes people "slip" and reveal their true feelings. So I guess I'll just join the ranks of those not "mature enough" to tolerate "everything and anything goes" simply because YOU decide that anyone who might be in disagreement with you is "immature."

No, it's more an issue, as revealed by this self-serving and self-justifying statement, that you consider yourself "superior" to everyone who does not think it's right for you to do whatever you want to do simply because YOU think you should be able to DO whatever you want to do.

Succinctly, your "moral set" is NOT my moral set, if that is how you view everyone else.

You can spout all the "good sounding advice" you want, but the bottom line is that you are condescending at best and a "wolf in sheep's clothing" at worst with that attitude.

Now, keep in mind that I do NOT read Idiotville, have not read your "other thread," and am reacting solely to what you posted here. But that is enough for me. As with most prevarications, sooner or later the truth sneaks out and the "Emperor's clothes" get seen for what they really are.

Your justification and excuse that you "don’t choose to share this with people that we know and who know us…because…they always want to make more of it then what it really is…just a hobby" is just an indication that, similar to so many Wayward Spouse's, that you try to excuse your behavior even though you know what you are doing is not "okay" with most people. You use "humanistic reasoning" to justify doing whatever it is you want to do. So tell me, have you stopped beating and biting your wife yet?

Oh well, just another "immature" person asking, so feel free, in typical elitist fashion, to carry on as you see fit.

Now, how DO you sign that register so others who know you will be "fooled," Mr. and Mrs. Inafog?

you imply I am a hypocrite because I speak up about something I saw as wrong?

Let's see the facts. You have an ICQ page and Literotica.com... where an account named coach3530 has never posted. Not once. Not that writing erotica short stories automatically makes someone a WS anyway or of low moral fiber... but whatever.

I have 12 or so pages of flaming someone on the internet, where 'regulars' jumped into the mob along with a large number of other people.

I don't see the likeness. It seems to obviously require more investigation to crucify coach.

The flamers, however, really don't need to be asked anything. They kinda got to say their's...

So, if you think I am throwing stones.... please explain. I would be more than happy to talk about it.

I would say that bashing posters for bashing a poster, is a little hypocritcal, yes. And the hurtful and disrespectful way that you did it is the same thing you are complaining about, no?

Everyone processes info differently, everyone reacts to things differently and those who did have some emotional investment in that thread were bound to be upset at the realization that all was not true.

Writing erotica for ones hobby was not the issue. I doubt anyone really cares about that.

Most of us here have been betrayed, and trust is a HUGE issue.

A little compassion goes along way, for all your fellow MB'rs and not just for the one you feel got bashed.

So many have said in the past how much they respected, admired and valued Coach's advice yet at the first chance you lynched him without first treating him with respect and simply asking him for an explanation. If the posters who bashed him were truly utilizing the MB principles which may apply to all relationships in your life - you would have held back your LB's and put him in a safe position to tell you the truth. It doesn't seem many have really learned anything from thiw web-site - now think back to why your here to begin with and see if you have treated people in your life this way before - not many will be completely honest if they are not in a safe place. Some people here jump to conclusions, create their own scenarios for lack of information only to later find they were dead wrong - they hurt people in the process. I give Coach a lot of credit for even writing back to any of you.

Now say his story is embellished - so what - he has helped many and you all did become "hooked" on his posts and got something out of it. Now say it's true - he must be feeling like he has lost the support system he was relying on while going through this terrible time.

I hope everyone here really takes a look at how they handle controversy in their lives, start applying some of the things you have learned in this web-site about relationships and work towards being more open and caring.