After a tragic event occurs somewhere and it is on the news, my W starts believing that it can happen at our home. For example, the Tim Duncan stalking, killing, abducting, etc in Idaho. We were informed that a released sex offender is living somewhere within 20 miles of us. We have a D and my W closes and locks all the doors on our house. When I leave a door open (not the front door), and I am in the house, she gets very upset and says that I am irresponsible. I understand the need to be aware, but I can not believe her reactions.

She has had this behavior before. I am trying to figure a way to negotiate, but to me this seems that this is taking it too far. It is summer, we live in a very low crime rate area, yet my W is worried that something bad may happen. I would be interested in ideas on how to discuss this with her.

Thanks.

How much of the material on this site are you familiar with? Cause there looks to be a few LB's floating around there that may make talking about it difficult.

However, one important thing to keep in mind is that you're not judge and jury about how she feels. How she feels is how she feels. You don't get to tell that the feeling is right or wrong. WHat you *do* negotiate is how your life will change in order to address the feeling. A lot, some, a little, none.

I hear what you're syaing, believe me, I can get by w/o locking the doors an dbolting the windows. On the other hand, weird stuff like FL didn't happen as much in the past, so maybe it's just a sign of changing with the times.

IN any case, safe negotiation is a big part of how you're going to approach it. And I'd just ask tell her what you think. YOu see that she's worried about it, and you can appreciate that. You don't see it the same way. So ask her how she proposes that both of you get what you want, and see if you can find the musta-gottas vs the would-be-nice-if...