I forgot one, Independent behavior. Here is an article about lovebusters:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html

Navyredman -

Reading your post made me very sad. I remember those days of hoping that the WS would change. I used to look up the street constantly, watching for his truck.

I want you to know that we understand how you feel.

I really appreciate it. It is a sad thing. It really hurts a lot, but I'm gonna do my best to be strong for my kids and myself and hopefully wait for my wife at my house and see if she ever comes around. What else can I do? I'm not ready to give up.

navyman

i also wish i had gotten a chance to know which kiss would have been the last, which night that he held me in his arms would have been the last, which time, when we made love.....i would have made a mental picture of each second

my husband also moved into his own place. he left behind a loving, good looking wife (if i do say so myself as i am now as thin as when we dated) and two dogs who were allthe center of his world before he met her. He left a beautiful home with a huge yard, an inground pool, and a sports car (it's mine).

he said he had everything any man could want but he was still nothappy.

he's moved into half a house. almost no yard and no garage. he gets to take the dogs for visits.

I saw the place when he first moved there-very sad looking-i drove by again and there are flowers, a wreath on the door, a flag with daisys, and TWO chairs on his tiny porch....all a woman's touch. That almost killed me!

and...she may/may not be with her husband still but he has been sharing her most of the time. she has kids and my husband never wanted any-let alone someone elses, she is a stay at home mom, and they all live with her mother.

but....he's stayed for 14 months and now wants to buy a home there!!!

as bad as you think your situation is.....compare it to mine and you will see that it's not the worst

eav

NRM...I´m finding that my case is not unique. My wife of nearly 35 years has fallen for another man and moved into his apartment 200yds away.

She told me about the A & what she was going to do on 4 july. Maybe it´s better that you didn´t make love one more time; we did 2 days before d day. She was distant and unresponsive & I didn´t understand why. With hindsight, she obviously didn´t want to be doing it but didn´t want to raise my suspicions. I now feel like a rapist. I hope your last memory of making love is a good one.

At least our children are adults and less vulnerable to the hurt. They have also been wonderful in supporting me.

We´ve been living in Spain for just over a year so I don´t have close friends or family nearby. She´s out having fun & I´m home alone.

There are many other similarlities to your case & my new MB friends tell me that the A will burn out if I´m strong & patient. It´s not easy to do is it?

I´ve got depression kicking in too. I haven´t made an appointment yet. Like a typical man, I try to "tough out" illness. I won´t tough this one out.

Tell you what, I´ll hang in there if you will.

Hey man I'm in, but yes it's unbearable hard. I had another outburst today because of this B**** friend that my wife has. I made plans in the morning to take the kids out jet skiing, I had the truck packed with chairs and umbrella had lunch made and drinks packed and jetski attached to the truck. Everything was ready to go, just waiting for kids and wife to get home from work.

Well, they get home and wife see's I'm ready to go and asks me if I am planning on taking the ski out? I say I was planning on taking the kids out and about to say you're invited when she says I was planning on taking B**** out. She then asked me why I didn't tell her I had plans, I said why didn't you tell me? I said the phone works both ways. She then told me she didn't want to bother me at my friends party I went to. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

So then she calls the B**** and tells her I was going out with the jetski and I could tell just by the pause on the phone that she was getting pissed that she couldn't go out with my wife now, my wife asked her if she wanted to go out after we got back and she said no, she'd been waiting all day to go, or some crap. So then she said what did he expect, that you'd(my wife) want to go spend all day with him. So I flicked her off through the phone and of course my wife just had to tell her, so she says I don't give a F and then goes on to say how immiture I am(kinda like helping to keep an affair thriving breaking apart 2 families).

So my wife hangs up with her and I say something to the effect of yea, I guess it's too much to expect to hang out with my family on my day off. Then we get in an argument about how she said my wife, not family. So I say well, we are married, you are my family.

Long story short I blew up, she blew up, and then after all was said and done. GAWD DANG M***** F'en tears again!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't want to argue with my wife, I don't want to say angry words to her, but when I've got at least two people working against me, to keep my wife away from me, I get fustrated. All I want is my whole family back together again.

Navyredman,

Hang in there, things will get better. It does take time. She will either realize what she is leaving, or you will realize there is something better out there for you.

Keep showing her you are fine with or without her, and I am sure she will come around.

Take care,
Sassygal

eav, I don't want to say mines worse or yours is worse, in fact I wish mine was the easiest. I wish my wife only went out and had a one night stand. As hard as you've worked to get your husband back I think to myself OMG how can she do it. I have patience and I love my wife to no end, but the amount of pain she is inflicking on me is intolerable. The lies, the deciet, the B**** friend that's helping her with her affair and bad mouthing me, the fact that she's getting ready to move very soon, the fact that my aniversary is coming up very soon and she doesn't even want to see me that day.

It's all weighing down on me and I'm bending and bending and I'm just about to break, I think when she makes the kids move, if I have no other choice that will be the breaking point. I feel I've lost everything but them at this point, and if they go, I'm just gonna lose it, I already know. I'm trying to plan for it, but what can you do to prepare for that?

eav I wish that you could get your husband back and I wish I could get my wife back, and I really don't think that any one BS has any less or anymore pain than another. Rather time is on a BS's side. This is all new to me, it hurts, it breaks me down daily. Whether it's morning or at night sleeping, it eventually throughout the day breaks me down. I'm doing everything I can to be positive and be happy and provide my children with the best possible life they can have right now, but it's tough, it's nothing but a front at this point.

I'm getting stronger by the day, but it's only by the littlest of incriments, barely measurable. I just miss my old life where we were happy, and if I had problem I could hug my loving wife and it would feel better.

hey navyman

again i share your pain....i'm trying to get through the worst thing that ever happened to me and the person who always gave me comfort and support... isn't here helping me through it...they are causing it and don't care how much i am hurting.

how am i hanging in?

in 16 wonderful years, he made so many love deposits.....even with these past 3 bad years, my love bank is still overflowing

I know the feeling eav. I know it well.

Do you ever wish that you hadn't fallen in love with your husband.

Knowing that you would be in this much pain, would you still have taken those 16 wonderful years? I mean, if you knew that you'd have to go through these three years of absolute misery, would you do it for the 16 years of good feelings?

I ask because the feelings that I have right now, I don't know if I would have been willing to have everything that I have right now knowing the pain that I would have to endure after all the absolute happines I enjoyed through our marriage.

Has anybody else have the feeling that I stated above/

i wouln't trade the 16 wonderful years i've had with this guy for anything-he made me feel so special-so loved. (but i'd willing give away the past 3 years of hell.) my family always siad our marraige was like a fairy tale. my single sister says i'm so lucky to have ever had this as she never did.

anyway that's how i feel today.....other days and i'm sure sometime in the future...

i think...if i had known this would happen and there was nothing i could do to change it...i'd have run in the opposite direction when that incredible guy locked eyes with me

ps
i e-mail u

So tell me, what do I do about this? What else does he want? He's already got my wife, does he want me to be his friend too? Does he actually think I'm gonna say he's a good guy?

I had to add links since pics aren't aloud here.

Another thing, I don't care who see this, who copies this. All I have done here is try to get help for my narriage. If you are personally offended I don't care. You are the one that is having an affair while you are married with children, with my wife that has children as well, and a husband that loves her very much, and is committed to my marriage.

Of course he erased it when my wife called him and told him that I saw it.

huh?

Try it now melody, my wifes lover posted on the board last night. just click on the links and read it.

here is a link to his thread: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=0#2771162

wow, this fella is not the brightest bulb on the tree and has a total deficit of decency and character. How embarrassing for him.

Thanks for posting the link

Just read the link to OM post. The fog must be REALLY thick in your neck of the woods! He drew a worse picture of himself then you did. Yikes! I hate when OP lurks here, I suspect the OW in my sitch lurks here as well. Oowell if the truth hurts....too bad! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Keep posting!

I know isn't it great. LOL