Well, I suggested to my wife that we try a Date night like Greengables suggested, I explained to her I thought we needed to get out without the kids and try to have some fun with each other (dinner & dancing, a concert, etc). I said I would like to do it weekly, but we could see how it goes.

This is all after she had a brief affair with a co-worker, I exposed it 2 weeks ago, she was going to leave me, but I'm still hanging on. She doesn't believe we have the feelings she desires, doesn't think we ever did.

She hasn't responed to the date idea yet, we're all (family) going out to dinner tonight, so I guess I'll find out.

I'm afraid if she doesn't want to do this, it will mean she isn't willing to try to save us and I don't now how I'll react?

Any thoughts anyone?

The worst thing you could do at this stage is "react". It will only drive her away and help her justify it.

As for not believing there were any feelings there, this is the most common reaction from a person in her situation. 99% of WS out there say this. I think others will agree here.

Patience is the one thing you will need the most of right now and it will be the hardest thing to find. You must not get angry no matter what she says and you must understand this is not the same person you once knew. As my FIL once said "It's like aliens came down and sucked the brains right out of her head". You will hear things that will hurt but you must learn to expect them.

This may be just the tip of the iceberg. There are many here that have been fighting for their marriage for months and maybe years. Some will be successful and some maybe not. I'm on 6 months myself and have not given up yet.

Thanks TR, It is so easy to let the hopeless feeling creep into your soul and take over. I just can't bear to think about a future without my family being whole.

She told me that the next two weeks are going to be too busy for her to do the date thing. She has a very high level demanding job that makes this even tougher than it already is.
She has a 2 day overnight this week and evening dinners all next week. That is going to be tough to get through...you know what I'll be thinking is going on.

I can only try to keep up the good fight, it just seems so awkward and one sided most of the time, but evey once in a while I catch a slight smile that reminds me why I'm doing this.

Please keep the support coming!

I will be your support when you need it. I have to run right now but I'll watch for you later

respond.....do not react