Hello everyone,

I guess today I just need to vent. My H is so furious with me because I told OW (his secretary) about our booty call he provided me 3 weeks ago. I guess in order to smooth things over with her, he physically moved in her house last week. I'm sure OW is now watching his every move, plus they also need to work together. I do not see this affair lasting forever. She also has 3 young sons who will be moving in shortly.

On the day he moved in, he told my daughter (16) that he wanted to spend the day with her. Of course, this was just so she could help him move all of his crap from his trailer to OW's house. My D was angry and called her counselor. Counselor advised her that she did not need to do that, so H brought her back home to me. He then told her that he would no longer call her. If she wanted to talk to him, she could call him. He has also been mentioning to D that she can go live with him. Our separation papers state that I am the custodial parent, and he can have visitation with her as long as it is in her best interest. This was due to the fact that he is an alcoholic and has always tried to control her. She is actually glad her dad is out of the house.

This morning, she called him to see what he plans were this week. She was thinking about going to stay one night with him, well they ended up fighting again. He told her he wanted her to go stay with him for 1 week - she does not want to stay with him for a whole week, and she knows she does not need to. He tried to tell her he has legal rights to see her more than 1 or 2 days, but then he says, only if she wants to. Well, she doesn't want to. I told her I would call her counselor tomorrow and move her appointment up so they could talk about everything. He only wants to see her or deal with her at his convenience or just to get back at me. She also knows she doesn't need to go to OW's house if she doesn't want to.

I am also going to be having surgery soon and D also told H that she wasn't going to leave me. He told her I could tend to myself or get someone else to help me.

He is being as inconsiderate and as mean as he can, but to do this to his only daughter is beyond me!!

Sassygal

Because they are aliens.

i believe it is because the people we knew and loved died...

....the person comes back as a zomie with no memories of the wonderful life he had before, no feelings for the people he used to love, no concern for right or wrong, is selfish and he is driven by only what he wants....but darn it.....he still looks like the guy we love so much

and still we hope that we will be one of the lucky ones whose husband breaks through the fog and lives again

Eav,

You are right. I do wish he would break through the fog and love both me and his daughter again.

I want my OLD H and life back!!

I am doing what I have to do, but it is so hard.

Sassygal

Good lord eav, you've become the wise elder of the board. Or maybe just my mentor, because everything you say has so much meaning to me in my current situation.

When my wife and I were fighting today she got right in my face, nose to nose. we were so close, closer than we have been in two months. In the midst of a fight I felt like we were going to be passionate and loving, all I wanted to do, even with all the rage in her eyes was kiss her and hold her close. She's still so beautiful and looks like the woman that I love. I just don't understand where she went, or even me for that matter, because I'm just a shell of my former self as well. My old me would have never got so angry. My old me always kicks in after the damage is done though. After I realize what I've done. After it's too late

Sassy, you seem like a wonderful person as well. I can't believe that any man would turn on there children, and epescially not there only daughter.

I just don't get the whole thing, it's like a cruel joke of nature. I usually like to base my observations of human nature based on the animal kingdom. For something like this though, what could even come close to compare?

I hope for your daughter sake, a young innocent bystander involved on accident that she will be able to get through this and cope with life without making the same mistakes down the road. Hopefully she'll use the situation as a positive experience and know to never treat anybody like that.

My couselor said that he's seen more marriage problems in this past year than he's ever seen his entire career. He said 80% of his clients are having these types of problems. What is happening in society that our moral have decayed to the point that our vows our deepest committments, our promises can just be broken wihout a blink of an eye. Then in the same breath take it out on innocent children who were brought into this world by us, with the sole purpose to be loved by us and depend on us. It's all sickening and sad at the same time.

eav1967....wow...you hit it on the head!!!!

i don't feel wise. i feel like a child again.

i also experienced this with my father when he left my mother.

from a child's perspective....it was so awful! my mother fell apart and my father left. i felt SO ALONE when i needed my parents most of all. my father was the most important person in my life and i never believed he would really leave me...when he left...i ended up in counseling because i could not eat or sleep and would not go to school because i was afraid he would come to get me and wouldn't find me...i thought for sure he would want me with him...
i was in 1st grade

this is what it feels like for me now..themost important man in my world left me and i can't understand how or why

as an adult going through this myself.....i finally understand how my mother felt and can forgive her for how she treated us, and herself after the divorce. through it all, my mother never talked to her children about what had happened or how she felt-that she still loved my father,that it hurt her when we talked about his new life after each visit. i wish she had at least told us that.

sadly, my father, who i always idolized, will never be seen in the same light for me again.

be strong for your daughters sake and be kind to yourself