How would you create a fantasy with your WS? I started this question in
Infidelity >> General Questions II
How would you have an affair?
I need help on how to write about having an affair with my WS!
The affair is a metaphor, it basically replacing her affair with a new fantasy. One that involves my WS with me her husband; I actually give my S a lot of credit by asking me to write something that would reintroduce Romance and Fantasy. Not the secrecy and lies of an affair.
Let me explain…My WS and I have talked about many things since her A, here is part of the article we shared.
“Addressing the fantasy of the affair.”
Addressing the fantasy of the affair!
1. You only see each other under ideal circumstances
Dressed the best
Smell the best
Don’t see each other when you wake up in the morning
Don’t see each other when you have household and other un-sexy chores
2. Because you don’t see each other all of the time
You want the feel good fix you had together
3. Sex is WOW
First touch, kiss sends those very special tingles, where the spouse’s touch is very familiar.
Making love, yes it was awkward, but those occasions where followed by secret planned sex rendezvous. The fantasy “day dreaming” about the event is as good as the sex.
HOW CAN I NOT BE JELLIOUS! “I want the affair to but I want it with my wife!” “HLROMANTIC”
Your spouse didn’t have the affair but would like you to have the same romantic interest in them. Plan a special vacation, getaway weekend and take a day off work. Make a date with your spouse, one that is planned to create the excitement. Purchase a special SEXY lingerie outfit, have it wrapped, delivered to her with flowers and a card. In the card write a romantic note describing you up coming Romantic Rendezvous. Now you have created a new fantasy, one that includes your partner.
Don’t make sex the least important thing with your partner. Many of us have hectic busy lives, trying to get everything accomplished before going to bed. Once in bed we are either too tired for SEX, or hurry in our love-making to really have a special experience. Change your routine by having sex in the middle of the afternoon or when you come home from work. This may mean you need to plan ahead to find someone to watch you children. You might even want to give your spouse a note when you leave for work stating your planning some quality time with them when you get home from work. This doesn’t mean planning all of your sexual encounters, but it does mean your partner deserves the same respect the feel you gave to another person.
While there are no magic formulas or prescriptions for recovering the loving feelings between two people following an affair, these ideas might be helpful in the ongoing process of healing and rebuilding a relationship based on a deeper kind of love and commitment than the fantasy attraction that is inherent in affairs.
I told my WS that I wanted to have an affair with her, she said ok write a story of our affair. I the FS didn’t know where to start and how detailed it should be…after all I was just been asked to write my fantasy! An affair with my wife…
The problem is how do you make it exciting and Romantic at the same time. So I’m asking this group many of which have the experience that could help me.
This is what I have so far...
In order to build suspense, excitement and fantasy, you are going to receive clues, in the form of notes, emails and a treasure map that must be placed together in the proper order.
When placed together you’ll research and suggest items you would like to wear and some you would like to see me wearing. The final date is going to include a Romantic Dinner followed by a Sexual Rendezvous.
Still looking for more suggestions, please respond with any you have.