Discovered WW's emotional affair in mid April. Didn't know about MarriageBuilders at the time, but was doing plan A pretty much from the beginning.

Our situation is a bit more complicated because our 3 yr old son is on a organ transplant list (has serious genetic disease). This is having an obvious effect on WW's mental stability. She is on AD's.

Although wife said she had stopped contact with OM, discovered recently that is has been contacting him while he was out of the country. She says she is really doing NC now as of a 7/14 and has written me a NC letter to send to him (he's out of country, but was verbally told of NC).

Over the past four months she went from wanting to leave me to be with him, to wanting to be with me and fix our marriage. She is constantly vaccilating on this. It changes daily, based upon how she feels and how much anxiety she feels. She says she needs 'peace'.

The one consistant thing all along has been her wish to wait until after our son's transplant before making a decision. His illness and disease crisis of the past would cause us to clash against each other, she wants to see us get though this one as supporters of each other, she thinks it would help her heal from the past.

So.... I am essentially here in plan A until we get the call for the transplant. Is there anything else I should be doing? Is there anything else I CAN do? Is MC even worth it if she is not committed to working things out yet?

If she is willing to got MC it is good. However you have to get the one that pro-M otherwise it is futile.

What is plan A to you ?

-rh-

Plan A has been for me to be the husband that she always hoped for. She herself says that there is nothing she would change about me currently. I pamper her, conversate, go on dates, have family time, care for her, and expect nothing in return.

The only time we really have problems is when the topic of the A comes up. She suffers from depression and it sends her spiraling down.

She is hurt from our past. It was never abusive, but very disconnected from each other. She is very afraid of that happening again.

She recently asked me to stop giving her occasional gifts/flowers. She says they make her feel like she needs to give me something in return. She always seemed to like them at the moment though.

Since my wife agreed to NC a week and a half ago, she is admittedly feeling more like ending up with the OM again. I assume this is normal withdrawal effects, can someone validate this for me?

She says she sometimes felt like she was drowning. She would call him and then she felt better.