Hi all

Haven't been around for a while - its been a bit of a rollercoaster (isn't that the same for everyone here?)

But it seems that there might be a small chink of light at the end of the tunnel!

For those of you who haven't heard my story - teacher H, 2yr affair with other teacher in same dept. I found out at Easter. Eventually H agreed to get new job - applied for virtually the last one available to start Sept, and got it - it's a good promotion too.

I've had to deal with contact all term - they had to work together until end of term. Last Friday was the last day of term - his last day at work. He goes away for weekend, with a male friend from Uni, and I find out that he has arranged to meet with OW at school today! When he got home last night I confronted him with it - I went ballistic!!! (small understatement here!). He said he needed to say goodbye - I said (quick as you like) I could ring her - now - while I was listening!!! I THINK HE EVENTUALLY GOT IT! He rang her and told her he couldn't see her again. She rang back loads of times and the story was the same each time until she stopped ringing. He sulked for the evening, and I think I comforted him, then we went to bed and he read the opening chapter of Harry Potter to me - reading to each other was something that we used to do together - and have agreed to do until all 600 pages are done! Also agreed to play scrabble at the weekend (I, like someone else here - can't remember who though, also like to play board games - H doesn't really, so this is a big thing for him to suggest).

We're not out of the woods yet, by any means - we still need to move house, but things are definitely looking up. Just wanted to share my small success with you all - you should all feel partly responsible for keeping me sane through this difficult term.

Thank you all!

Hugs

unhappy_badger (but not quite SO unhappy any more).

That seems very promising. Don't forget to do some of the things that he loves to do - remember 15 hours a week spent together.

Is there any reason you didn't ask him to send a no contact letter?

Hi Believer

I've asked many times over the last few months for a NC letter - H didn't really 'get it'. Actually the conversation he had with OW on telephone while I was listening felt just as good to me - if not better in some ways. I could really hear that he meant every word, and after she had called back a few times he was getting really irritated with her. I know that him breaking it off with her in such an abrupt way (and she knew I was listening) must have stung a lot, but for the first time it showed that H put my feelings above hers. I haven't really felt like a letter would add anything else at this point, but will obviously re-evaluate should any setbacks occur.

Things still ok today - H tidying house and sorting out all his old school stuff!

Nice to have more positive news

U_badger

U_badger, nice to hear from you again and thanks for the update! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I was wondering about you…

Please continue to update us.

NS: I think your H needs to send a NC letter to OW signed by both you and him. This is really important for recovery and I think the telephone conversation wasn’t enough. The NC request must be done properly. Tell me if you need the sample NC letters and I will send you the link.

Blessings and take care,
Suzet