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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
The definition of exposure, as we commonly use it here, seems to be a point of confusion lately.
Exposure is the exposure of an affair to OUTSIDE parties, such as family, friends, employers, OP's spouse, etc. Key phrase here is outside parties who are not aware of the affair.
Telling your WS that you know of the affair, is NOT exposure. You can't expose something that the target already knows. Telling the WS that you know about the affair is confrontation. Not to be confused with exposure.
I am just clarifying this because we have some newer folks who claim to have "exposed" the affair, when in fact, all they did was confront the WS. Big difference.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,401
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,401 |
Thanks for pointing that out ML. I mistakingly used exposure to describe my informing my WW that I knew about the OM. However, yesterday I did expose to all relevant parties. It is a hard thing to do and doesn't feel right when you are doing it, especially after seening the reaction of your WW. As my namesake says I "HopeThisWorks"
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Hope, I hope you don't think I was targeting you. There are several others who were equally confused so I wanted to make sure the difference was clarified to everyone so we are all speaking the same language. Good job on exposing! You are right, it doesn't feel right at first, but just wait until you see the results after the dust settles! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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