I am not ready to switch to plan B yet, but I am starting to get my plan worked out. I was wanting some constructive criticism from the experts on my plan B letter.

WW,

I'm sorry you have to be reading this right now, but I am also very sorry that I have to be writing it.

I want to sincerely apologize for any pain I may have caused by not making you feel appreciated or special. I will regret that for the rest of my life.

It is with a heavy heart that I write the next few lines. While I am willing to do anyhting and everything to save our marriage and prove my love for you, I can not stand by and watch while you try to destroy everything that used to be important to us.

I still want to love you. I don't need to love you. You have chosen to continue your affair. I have chosen to allow our life together to continue to this point, because I wanted to show you that I still love you and our marriage can be saved. I think I have have said and done everything I can at this point.

I have to ask you to please stay out of my life. Until you can put an end to your relationship with OM and commit to working on our relationship, I think any more contact with you would be harmful to me.

The kids and I will stay here, and you are welcome to come and be with them any time you want. It's just that I will not be here when you do. I have asked ___ to act as a go-between to make any arrangements that need to be made.

Please understand that I still love you very much. I just cannot continue to support your current behavior. If you decide that you want to come back and you can put an end to your relationship with OM, I will still be here with open arms. I cannot allow myself to be hurt anymore. I must do this to preserve the love I feel for the mother of my children, and my first and only love.

Respectfully,
DKM

pretty good letter..well done..

here's my suggestion...

but I am also very sorry that I have to be writing it.
remove the word..even when not meant to..it's a red flag stopper.....drop the but word....

I'm sorry you have to be reading this right now, I am also very sorry that I have to be writing it.


I can not stand by and watch while you try to destroy everything that used to be important to us.

this is a good sentiment...but too blameful..go more global..
ie...

I can not stand by and watch while everything that was once important to us both is destroyed...

remove blame....make your point...

I don't need to love you.
I'm not sure if I like this line...not sure what the point is...but not sure I hate it either..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I have to ask you to please stay out of my life
what about something that is not her control but your..
At this point in my life I have to remove myself from this triangle.....

I cannot allow myself to be hurt anymore.
what about..
I will not allow myself to subjected to such pain anymore.

wait for others as well...

ARK

Ark! Will you edit mine? Please, please? IMH, inexperienced opinion, I think it's an excellent letter, with Ark's fine edits. Good job, DKM!

Thank you so much for the edits ark, they will definitely be in there. What I need to add is something about how I feel bad throwing her out on her a$$. She has no money and nowhere to go except OM's or a friend that she doesn't really like. Unless she gets a better job (which I have been trying to get her to do for 3 months), she will not be able to get her own place, and I don't have much to give her in the way of help. How should I put that?

why should you concern yourself or worse try to protect her from her own consequences of choices

ark

stungalong did you write one...

where is it..

ark

Good point. She made her bed, she needs to lie in it. I just feel sorry for her.

I like this, but does it really get the point across that I am kicking her out?

So here it is with ark's edits and I also added a little to the second paragraph (in bold).

WW,

I'm sorry you have to be reading this right now, I am also very sorry that I have to be writing it.

I want to sincerely apologize for any pain I may have caused by not making you feel appreciated or special. I will regret that for the rest of my life. I have been, and will continue to work on the things about myself that made our marriage an unhappy place for you.

It is with a heavy heart that I write the next few lines. While I am willing to do anything and everything to save our marriage and prove my love for you, I can not stand by and watch while everything that was once important to us both is destroyed.

I still want to love you. You have chosen to continue your affair. I have chosen to allow our life together to continue to this point, because I wanted to show you that I still love you and our marriage can be saved. I think I have said and done everything I can.

At this point in my life I have to remove myself from this triangle. Until you can put an end to your relationship with OM and commit to working on our relationship, I think any more contact with you would be harmful to me.

The kids and I will stay here, and you are welcome to come and be with them any time you want. It's just that I will not be here when you do. I have asked ___ to act as a go-between to make any arrangements that need to be made.

Please understand that I still love you very much. I just cannot continue to support your current behavior. If you decide that you want to come back and you can put an end to your relationship with OM, I will welcome you home with open arms. I will not allow myself to subjected to such pain anymore. I must do this to preserve the love I feel for the mother of my children, and my first and only love.

Respectfully,
Billy

have been, and will continue to work on the things about myself that made our marriage an unhappy place for you.


I have been and will continue to work on things about myself that MAY have contributed to unhappiness in our marriage. It is what as a husband I am driven and called to do, and remain hopeful as always for that chance.

(maybe I should just keep my mouth shut ) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

ARK

Don't you dare! I really appreciate it. Dang, how many of these things have you written ark? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I think the last paragraph needs something else. I feel like it says, "whenever you're done with OM, come on home." I think I need to make the point that she has to end the A, AND commit to the M 100%. Any ideas?

How about if I change

to

I think it states my terms a little better. What do you all think?

NOPE plan b entails no to little YOU statements..these should be I statements...

I hope and pray that you decide to end contact with the OM...so that you and I can focus on the creation of a marriage that is totally worthy of you and I. I love being your husband and look forward to showing you what that means...

ark

Hi Ark -- Not yet, but soon I'm afraid. Thanks.

Stung