HI, I AM NEW IN THIS POST BUT I NEED YOUR HELP SO I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT MY MARRIAGE LIFE HOPING SOMEBODY WILL GIVE AN ADVISE.

I MEET MY HUSBAND 7 YEARS AGO WE DATE FOR 3 YEARS AND WE ARE BEEN MARRIED FOR 4 YEARS AND THE FIRST 2 YEARS WE WERE VERY HAPPY WE HAD GOOD COMMUNICATION AND GREAT SEX AND WE WERE BEST FRIEND BUT IN THE LAST 2 YEARS EVERYTHING CHANGE. HE CHANGE COMPLETLY, TO THE POINT THAT SINCE THEN WE FIGHT OFTEN AND HE IS DOES NOT WANT TO BE INTIMATE WITH ME, HE SAID THAT HE IS NOT ATTRACTIVE TO ME ANYMORE BUT HE STILL LOVE ME AND THAT HE IS STILL I IN LOVE WITH ME, SINCE THEN WE FIGHT A LOT AND WE STOP TALKING ABOUT NOT FEEDING OUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS AND THAT DRIVE US TO THE SEPARATION WE GOT SEPARATE A MONTH AGO AND I MISS HIM A LOT. I DONT KNOW IF GETTING APART FROM ONE ANOTHER WAS A GOOD THING OR MAYBE THAT WAS THE WORST THING TO DO.
I JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE HIM AND HE LOVE ME AND I MISS HIM A LOT AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THIS SEPARATION FOR OUR BENFEFIT. ONE THING THAT I KNOW IS THAT HE HAS DIFFETENT SEX INTEREST AND THAT THATS THE PROBLEM, CAN A MAN BE CONFUSED ABOUT HIS SEX DRIVE AND CAN HE BE CONFUSED ABOUT THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE.
PLEASE I NEED HELP I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK AND I WANT HIM BACK THE WAY THAT HE WAS WHEN WE GOT MARRIED.
PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP IF SOMEBODY HAS THE SAME EXPERIENCE THAN ME PLEASE GIVE AN ADVISE.
I WILL APRECIATE IT. THANK YOU.
FLAQUITA.

Step one is to *STOP* posting in all caps, which is considered yelling and extremely rude.

Since your'e separated now, I'd look at the Basic Concept material (up at the top), and look at plan A and plan B and the goals and strategies of each.

Have you considered MC?

Are you sure that your H isn't having an affair with somebody else that's meeting his EN's? How are yo udoing on meeting his, and how is he doing on meeting yours (before things got bad).

Was there any specific change in circumstance when you notices things started going downhill?

Thanks Jaye Mathisen for replying to me, I wont post in all caps, I am new in this and I am trying to follow the rules.

The reason the I think that my H is not having an affair is because He is always working and when He wasnt he was with me, he does not have friends and he does not go to visit his brothers or family by him self and in the beging, he start being distant, At nights he was on the computer until 1 am and always tell me that it was because he was not tired, I try to approched him some many times and he use to tell me, no babe right now its not a good time until one day I ask him if he was having an affair and he respond NO, he said that he will never do that to me, he said the he love me but that somehow we lost the romanticism between us and that between his job and my we were apart. Then I try to do things different like been open to go to places like the mall, restaurants and everything was fine we enjoy each other company but when I wanted to be with him, he was saying the he did not feel like it, he said the he was not attactive to me any more, not in the way to be intimate with me, but that maybe was just a face that he was living and that with time everything was going to be ok, so I wait and one they I discover some pictures on one web page that I did not like and I call him and told hime that he was lying to me and the he was having a affair and the night when we got home I show him the pictures and his profile and he told me the he told the he was going to tell me, he said the I deserve to know. But the he wasnt having a affair as I though, He said the he was confussed with his sexuality and he was asking for help thru the web with people that It was going thru the same, so I told me that I didnt understand, that he wasnt like that and he told me just to be pacient and try to understand, I decided to do that I though he is my husband and I will help him but, he did not got better since then we are being fighting a lot and I ask him to go and get help from a professional and he keeps telling me that nobody can help me that It was something the he need it to figure out by him self. we were like that for more than 2 years until I told me that we need it time apart from one another because I was not getting what I wanted, I did it with the intention that he will react and then he can go to get help, I did it to make him understand what marriage means, and know I dont know what to do is been a month already since we are apart and all I know is that I miss him a lot and I know the he been working really hard and that he is not looking for help yet, I dont know if I should keep in touch with him or not. I dont know what to do. I am thinking to get consuling.
Thank you for any advise you can give me.

Flaquita

I think you really need to seek some professional help.

If I'm understanding you, your H is confused about his sexuality as in perhaps thinking he's gay? That's out of my element.

I would encourage you to take your posting over to the General Questions II forum, and re-ask it over there. There's a lot more people over there that can most likely give you a better answer than I can. They deal with stuff like separation and all those issues on a regular basis.

Please try and break your post over there up wtih some blank lines so it's easier to read. I realize it's just pouring out from your heart, but if you want a maximum # of people to read it and respond, it has to be easy to follow.

I would also encourage you to read all the Basic Concepts and Q&A material on this site, and perhaps getyourself a copy of His Needs/Her Needs. In the meantime, avoid lovebusters (fights, angry words, all that stuff), and also seek some professional guidance.

I wish I was able to offer you more help, but all I can offer you is encouragement. THe GQII folks can help.

Thank you so much Jaye Mathisen, I will do that and you are right its about what you think it is.

I will follow your suggestions.

Once again, Thank you.

Flaquita.