good evening everyone! it has been a few since i was in here last. hope everyone is doing good. i usually come in here when i can't sleep or have had a sleepless night. it has been since april that i found out about my h's affair. it has been nearly 2+ months and it feels as though it were yesterday. if anyone has read my last posts you will see that i was not able to ask the ?'s i had for my husband face to face so i wrote them down for him. he answered the first set but it has been a few weeks for the next set of ?'s and he still has not even opened the letter. this evening i asked him why he had not looked at them and he said he just never thinks about it(it is on his nightstand}, then he changed the subject. i asked him if he was scared to read it and he did not respond. i have told him since the beginning that i can not get over this until i get the pieces to the puzzle in which i need, but i don't feel as if he really understands me. i have done better in giving him the emotional needs in which he complained about so much before the affair, but to me it seems as if he does not want that anymore. for example,sex, i could go forever without it. it just seemed as if it were another thing i HAD to do for the day. that was a huge issue for him, so i have tried to be there sexually for him. when we decided to work things out we had sex just about every night. but now that i am used to having it so often i NEED it, but he just does not seem to need it as much anymore, does this make scence? i justdon't understand what i am doing wrong!! i have told him how much i love him everyday{he would keep track before how much i would say it}, hug him just because,kiss him just because but to me he is not there. i just don't understand!!!! if anyone in here is getting the same thing from their ws or as gone through this please respond to this post. thanks and have a great evening.

I really can't give too much advice but just want you to know we are here for you. 2 months is not long after Dday for both you and your H.

More experiencied MBers will respond. late at night it is slow...... keep posting. Take Care Maxlo

Copy the letter in my link 'Trueheart's letter to the WS'. Ask him to read and get his thoughts. Don't share yours, just listen to his. Even if he says he doesn't like it, keep tongue in cheek and let him babble. Then walk away and come vent here.

Why the exercise? Trueheart's letter makes even a WS think. Might give 'em a headache but better him than you. LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

bump

g'morning...

I'm kinda right there with you especially with the time of the discovery, except I thought we were doing good but I've discovered more. Now I have gone undercover in order to find more info.

Its so difficult to get through each day knowing the major pain and issue I'm having is something i can't talk about and freely share. Its nuts.

Yesterday before the OW contacted me, I had a nice bible study and got a proverb that puzzled me but just by the afternoon it hit me that my prayers were finally being answered (as far as getting more info and finding truth) Its scary, but I know if I cling to God I can make it through regardless of the outcome.

I feel so used and dirty, although I am now believing it wasn't a PA but the fact that he's gone the extra mile to make contact, makes me know this is a very serious issue. I'm ready to deal with it. I don't know if he is. I hope and pray he's ready....

anyway, if you don't have a relationship with God then reach out, his comfort is always available. If you have a bible then start reading in the psalms. If you want more tips then just ask.

PS the proverb was "He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue" Prov. 28:23 I took that to mean that it would be okay for me to confront our problems openly (when its time) rather than to just gloss over it...the flattering tongue would be the untruthful tongue. I also took it to mean it would benefit me in the end.

but for now I have to sit tight a bit.

Take care, hope your day goes well.