Had enough guys. can't deal with his stupidity OW can have him. After today I don't want him he makes me sick. His father died last night and he shows up here today with the OW in tow I lost it completly.has no respect for me or the children. We are trying to grieve in peace and he pulls this. Then threatens to pull a financial support. well I got news for him in this state thats abandonment and i will sue for sole custody of our little girl. No court in the land will suport him for joint if he does this. he barely sees her anyway. And all that crap about him helping out with the kid was bull i knew it wouldn't last. I am going to hang him out to dry for this. I will be so greatful to get rid of his loser butt.if need be i can have my counseler come and testafiy on my behalf. that would really put a hole in his bubble. he does everything he can to hurt me and I got news for his OW she shows up her and i will have the police escort her off the property in hand cuffs for tresspassing. oh i am so madd right now i could spit. why are ww and wh so stupid. she thinks he will stay with her he will do it again to her and that will be my final revenge. and i don't have to do a thing.

Jo

I completely understand your attitude.

Just know that Plan B can be a greta help for you PREPARING for divorce even though you no longe rwish to reconcile.

Gives you time away from the chaos.

Speaking for myself, I don;t do my best work when I am angry. I'd rather divorce when I was calm. Less to regret.

I pray you peace jo. Your WH seems so far up his own [censored] he needs a snorkel.

Know that you supported his dad at least. That is to your eternal credit.

Dear Joanna,

Sorry to hear about your FIL. My sincere condolentces to your family.

See how wacko the WS can get? Family is grieving and he is pulling this kind of crap.

Sad reality. But you don't have t/b part of that drama anymore. Go check out your rights and as for his threats, figure he will do his worst and you make sure you are protected. No more giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Remember OWs stink! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

So when the stench of her comes your way, turn on those fans that ward off the smell. Maybe get a big can of OUST! LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Don't let him know your plans. Make sure you make your decisions with a clear mind, calm heart and lots of patience. Think things through carefully but do move ahead. Ok?

We will be here for MB support.

take care,
L.

Joanna, I don't know much but it's clear to me that one person cannot save a relationship. I'm new to the infidelity game but I have a some experience in failed relationships. As does everyone I guess. Your pain and anger comes through loud and clear and it's entirely appropriate. I wish I could give you some precious nugget of wisdom to help you through this time but I am only a fellow wanderer and have none. I do know your heart and your mind will give you what you need to survive and thrive.

No one has the right to hurt you and they only have the power to do so that you give them. When a person has had enough crap from another the first step is to distance themselves from that person. How many times have you decided that a person less close to you than your spouse was not really someone you wanted to associate with? What did you do?

If I were in your situation (and I may be) I would first be certain that my decision to divorce was based on certainty and not anger or pain. If I were certain that divorce was the right course I would try to make sure that my decisions were based on my own welfare and that of my children's, not on anger or a desire to repay the pain I have received. Some day the pain and anger will recede but I will always have the memory of my actions. I would never want to regret anything I did as a result of emotions I no longer felt.

My heart aches for you and my spirit is hugging yours now. Can you feel it? You're NOT alone in this, there are so many people far better than I pulling for you no matter where this terrible situation takes you. You CAN deal with this. Don't despair for that is a sure soul killer. I just bumped you up on my prayer list and I know for sure the most powerful ally of all is on your side. He'll never let you down.

the only regret that i will have when this is all over with is that i will be unable to attend FIL memorial service. I expect he will Bring OW and I will not subject my self to that let him explain why his wife and children are not there and why he has the bimbo there.It takes 90 days to get a D in this state if you have kids.Don't have the money yet but soon will and I will have him served at work since he doesn't have an address. I have been outstanding during this he has been the a$$ and he will have the regrets me I have my plan B letter and will leave it for him. He doesn't have my new address or my phone number so when I move he can make arrangement through his mom to see the kids

Joanna,

I would go to the memorial service. He is your FIL.

Let you WH explain to everyone why he is there with OW, especially since you're there with his children.

Jo

Go to the service.

Its F**K all to do with OW or WH. Its respect for your friend and FIL.

Go, look respectfully beautiful and let WH explain he was too busy banging the slut on his arm to attend his father's deathbed.

Go .

hey I really would love to go but It doesn't matter I was there the night he passed and he knew that Iloved him and he loved me that is all that matters to me. I am not being treated like family wh hasn't told me any of the arrangements I find out through MIL. Doesn't matter I would rather him be embarassed about being there with no kids or wife and a slut on his arm. they deserve each other.
I have one more manin my life that will need me when he is told he is sick himself and I love him dearly I think i will spend the day with him. It is WH grandfather. Plus they are hooking up my phone on mon. I would hate to miss that.