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Her mother in law is on the phone trying to call my house - WTF do I do? The phone is off the hook right now and she is waiting. I have nothign to [censored] say to her or my W...GOD WTF
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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I hung up the phone - didn't say a word.
Wow - they need to leave me ALONE.
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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BTW - I'm not 2x4ing...I'm reaching out with a hand up and a strong shoulder.
- Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Now this is borderline harassment. I NEED MY SPACE and they wont give it to me.
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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No...we are not wielding a 2x4. We are simply holding your feet to the fire.
It is gonna get hotter before it gets better.
This is isn't baby stuff Fox...it's gonna be the hardest thing you ever did.
I will bow out of the thread because the continuing need for it to censored is not something that I like to participate in.
committed
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Can you block their number? Can you go for a walk? Unplug the phone? Go rent a funny movie. Something, anything.
I've got a couple of kids I could loan you to sit on. THEY'D take your mind off things! If anything, they'd wreck the house AND pour juice in the phone.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Listen - I'm sorry...
I handle stress by venting through my mouth; I'm not trying to offend anyone; and if you think I like the way I cuss like a sailor when I get upset - then you couldn't be more wrong.
All I know is that this marriage is through - my W has gone off the deep end is trying to drag me under with her; now she's got the MIL calling and trying to harass me - all I ask for is space and they can't give it to me? Geez...
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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I owe everyone here an apology okay? I realize I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this properly; and I'm doing a very immature job of doing so - you are all right when you told me I was too young to be married; its true, I'm trying to follow these plans and talk calmly - but I'm doing a very poor job of doing so...keep up the 2x4s. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Tough love.
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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Why are you so wishy-washy on this? One minute you are fine, the next you are not. If you can't deal with the fact that I am dealing with the separation this way, then I will send in my papers. I don't care if your love for me is dwindling, Aaron ....this marriage has already caused me enough pain as it is...maybe now you know how I feel. And I am by no means cheating on you, so don't so saying I am having an affair or whatever because that is absolute [censored]. And supporting ME financially?? Last time I checked, I was the one with the job paying all of the bills. I've been supporting you. I will come and get my TV when I have time... I have a full-time job because at least I have to have some responsibility, so when I have time I will give you a call...and I expect you to be there. You can't just run from this. You are going to have to face me no matter what. We have much to discuss and you are going to have to buck up and be just as big of a part of it as me. It's not easy, but since when has it been?? I honestly don't think you love me anymore, so I don't see how our marriage is going to work, and frankly after all of this, I don't know if I want it to anymore, because all of these stupid e-mails you are sending me are starting to piss me off. Make up your mind!!! Don't have me sign separation papers to just turn around and change your mind...it's not productive. As for my stuff in Pullman....I don't have the opportunity to get it right away, so you will be back at the apartment before I have a chance to get it. I expect it to remain untouched, the way that it was left. I'm sorry, but sometimes (and this is just my opinion) you can do some pretty dumb things when you are upset or angry, and I know this is one thing that you definitely are not going to like. Let's just do the divorce, Aaron. My heart is pretty much convinced that not even God himself could help our marriage, let alone marriage counseling.
I'm sorry. I really feel there is no way around it and it's evident by all these e-mails you are sending me that you feel the same way.
[b]See when you tell me you love me it means you hate me or something.saving our marriage means ending it...up is down...left is right...amen and pass the ammoAnd I haven't been lying to you, so I don't know where you pulled that out of your [censored] from...When I said I didn't know what I wanted, it's because I didn't. I've been completely honest with you this whole time, so I really don't appreciate that. Well, I don't know what else to say, and frankly I am too pissed off to write anymore, so just get back to me if you ever feel like it. Oh, and I'd like to handle the papers if you don't mind. I will send you a copy of them so that we can go over them together. We can talk about this more in person because I don't feel it's appropriate to do it over e-mail.
You are as dark as night right now...let her stew and this is for you remember? Plan B gets you out of this insanity she is living
"Who are you" said the Caterpillar
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.
Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present...At least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
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RebornMan....wow, simply wow. That post couldn't have been written better; thank you. I've noticed that my weakness is interpreting WS babble from my W. After reading what you had to say, it made it all make a ton of sense. I can't thank you enough for your post. God bless - I'm headed back to the shadows. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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Fox
TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO TO BED!!!!!! This is doing you no good staying up and stressing over your wife and appologizing to people on the internet. Get some sleep. Wake up calm and ready for a new day. This is obviously not helping you.
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You don't owe me an apology.
As for the too young thing...that door swung both ways....you can't unring that bell, but you CAN learn from your life, Aaron. Are you going to be better for this lesson? It's your choice.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Alright Aaron...done venting for now?
The first week is going to be hard....so very hard.
Next week will be better, each day will get better.
Know this though, and this is no 2X4 in the least.
You KNOW you still love your W, you KNOW that.
You don't love what she is NOW.
By calling her names you will be degrading her to the point, in your mind, that she isn't even human.
Then what will she have to come back to if she has a change of heart? Nothing.
Gotta keep strong brutha, keep the derogatory [censored] at bay.
It'll eat YOUR soul in the end and no matter what, you need to be a better man however this ends up OK?
If it ends in Divorce you never have to see her again and what good will the namecalling and anger do for you?
If it ends with her coming home your heart may be too filled with animosity and anger to allow her in.
Alright I'm out
"Who are you" said the Caterpillar
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.
Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present...At least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
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I just feel like people keep beating up on my emotional responses to her pain and blame it on my age; while I know part of it is probably this - i find it really unfair to blame all of this on my age. After all, I've stayed committed during all of her [censored]; I haven't backed out on my vows; and regardless of what her WS blabber says; I have supported both of us for the last two years. Yes, I'm young...yes I have maturing to do; but in many ways - we all do. I just need to work on managing my stress in different ways. I'm going to go work out - today has been quite long enough! God bless guys - I'm sorry for the outburst <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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Posts: 722
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Yes, the animosity and anger is something I need to try extremely hard to work around or block out; or at least channel into something else.
You're right - I do love HER, not who she's become. I need to be there for her and realize that she's extremely confused; not be angry, but supportive (although this is Plan B) but you know what I mean...
Thank you RebornMan,
I think I'm going to go have at the punching bag! lol!
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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Posts: 722
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Anyone have any tips for venting in a different manner? I've found I get mine out by yelling about her to other people (as we've all seen)...i don't think its very productive, however. It gets the job done, but it doesn't help my image of her nor does it secure the love I have for her...
Any methods I should know about before I head out?
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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Posts: 8,344
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> I know part of it is probably this
It wasn't from me. YOU were the one that brought it up. Yeah, you were young...but I also took into account your attempts to keep your marriage together. THAT was what spoke volumes to me. You can't help her age anymore than you can help your own...she just seems light years behind you on the responsibility scale.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Posts: 841
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Aaron...I started working out again...awesome! Burns off a ton of anger and you get a great body to boot! Pumping iron til you drop Win/Win I'm glad my other post helped...WW babble is an art form <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Now go take some Tylenol PM and hit the rack! Good night, tomorrow will be better!
"Who are you" said the Caterpillar
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.
Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present...At least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
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Fox,
I see myself in you when I was your age. From my perspective your reactions are very much due to your age. A little insight for you regarding these type of emotional problems. The answers are in quietness and stillness. Next time you feel you are being overwhelmed by emotion try being quiet and still, the answers will come.
Old Man to Young man.
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