Well my first post and all I have to say is this website has been a huge help to me that past few months. About two months ago I caught my wife lying to me about something and after some more questioning her secret life came apart lie by lie. It took six long weeks of fighting and accusations but eventually she self destructed and told me the truth -that she has been having an affair. The news was devestating to me but I knew even before her confession that our marriage had hit rock bottom so I was prepared for it. It has been one week since her confession and I am still hurting. The truth is I really want out of our marriage but she is dead against divorce and wants to reconcile. The OM is history and the affair is over and my wife has cut all contact with her lover. I think her confession and her ending the affair is a good jesture towards reconcilation, but it's hard to believe anything coming out of her mouth since she has done nothing but lie to me for the past few months. This website has been a savior for my sanity at the least. Reading some of the posts from others as well as Dr. Hanley's articles have given me hope but I don't know how I can ever trust my spouse again. We are going to MC for professional help but we have yet to go to our first appointment. I also have an appointment with an attorney that I am keeping just incase my wife starts acting up again. I don't plan on filing for divorce yet, but I just want to check my legal options incase. We have a 2 yr old daughter and the thought of my wife and I seperating or divorcing is as painful as the affair. Like many others feel, it's not the sex that I am so upset with as much as the secrets and lies that my wife told me. My wife appears very remorseful and sorry for what she has done but it's hard to tell if it's genuine or just more theatrics. I just wanted to tell my story for others because it's helping me to deal with the pain of being betrayed. Once again, this website has been a huge help. If your reading this and are also in my shoes, just remember that good people make mistakes too and maybe you can work things out with your cheating spouse. I sure hope my wife and I can work it out.

cheers

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a good place to be under the circumstances. For some reason there are a lot of men here right now, going through much the same thing as you are.

It is very miserable at first, but gets much better. It is very hopeful that she has no contact with the OM. I hope you will do some more reading here. It is very helpful, no matter how your situation turns out. Weekends are slow, so you might want to jump over to general questions.